IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8.5

Write a letter to the manager of the Lost and Found department of the railway regarding the luggage you accidentally left on the train. In your letter, give details of your train trip describe the luggage you left on the train say what actions you want him/her to take

#manager #lost #department #railway #luggage #train #trip #actions
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Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to report the loss of an item, I accidentally left on the train, I boarded
last
 weekend. On November 14, 2024, I travelled by train from Mumbai to Pune and was seated on seat number 24.
Due to
 my hectic schedule, I fell asleep during my journey. When the destination arrived, a fellow passenger woke me up, and in my hurry, I unfortunately left my backpack on the shelf. My backpack is black in color and it contains my office laptop without which it has been impossible for me to continue with my work.
Additionally
, it holds my wallet which has valuable items like credit cards which I have deactivated, a driver's licence and memorable photographs of my family members.
This
 loss has impacted me significantly both personally
as well as
 professionally. I kindly request you to check with the Lost and Found department to locate my luggage and if found, I would be grateful if it can be delivered to my home address. Please find attached my railway ticket and home address for your reference. Thank you for your attention to
this
 matter. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Mitali Padiya
Submitted by mdpadiya10 on

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task achievement
Ensure clarity in the timeline of events. Mention the time of departure and arrival for better precision.
coherence cohesion
The sequence of events could be linked more fluidly. Use words like 'after', 'then', and 'finally' to ensure smooth flow.
task achievement
The narrative is quite clear and concise. It covers the purpose, details of travel, and describes the luggage effectively.
task achievement
The letter has a professional tone appropriate for a formal letter of request.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph deals with a specific aspect of the matter, offering clarity and structured communication.
coherence cohesion
Both the greeting and closing are appropriately and respectfully included.
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