Some people think that the communication technology is having a negative effect on social relationships. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are several opinions that making conservation on the internet has a bad effect on face-to-face interaction and other relationships.
This
writer disagrees with their statement due to
the benefits bridge the gap.
It must be understood that communication devices can make all people come together. To explain it, everyone is able to talk and send information between a very large distance. Therefore
, it will be easier to work or learn online,
and connect with the highest quality. Remove the comma
apply
Moreover
, we can also
make a phone call with video to family from far length so all members keep in touch together. For instance
, in the period of COVID-19 disease, technology was very important in education, office, and interaction.
Another thing worth considering that saving time and making plans for all activities. In this
state-of-the-art era, it is much easier and convenient to trade information but is not necessary to wait for a long time. Additionally
, intelligent devices are significant to creating a scheme such
as a debate about a problem and solution or a long-term strategy, this
will be more basic with a chart, or diagram invented on the internet. Meetings between countries on this
planet are an example, they are almost organised online because of convenience and saving time to move.
In conclusion, communication technology plays a vital role in relationships and daily activities. Thus
, we cannot have such
a good life as today without smart devices.Submitted by [email protected] on
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task achievement
While your essay presents a clear position on the topic, you need to strengthen your arguments with more comprehensive and varied examples. Additionally, expanding on your ideas and ensuring they are fully developed would enhance your response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from improved coherence and flow between sentences and paragraphs. Try to use more cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they could be stronger. The introduction should better set up what the main points of your essay will be, and the conclusion should succinctly summarize the main points rather than introduce new information.
task achievement
You have a clear central position in your essay, which provides a solid foundation for your arguments.
task achievement
You have attempted to provide reasoning and examples to support your points, such as the reference to the COVID-19 period.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?