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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

THE graph bolow givas information about international tourist arrivals in different parts of the world. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

THE graph bolow givas information about international tourist arrivals in different parts of the world. summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bolow #givas #information #tourist #arrivals #parts #world #summarise #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
international visitors who
travellers
Replace the word
travel
show examples
 to five different countries between 1995 and 2010 at fifteen-year intervals.The unit on the Y-axis is shown in millions.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the trends of all five networks are upward with the most striking feature from 1995 to 2010.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,in the USA during
this
Linking Words
 period,the
travellers
Correct quantifier usage
number of travellers
show examples
 lasted 10 years and
then
Linking Words
 began to trend
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 steady decrease between 2005 and 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
,the
number
Use synonyms
 of vacationers who arrived the France rapidly grew to 60
percent
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,the sightseers just only 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
the
number
Use synonyms
 increased 2 times from 1995 to 2000.The data proportion increased dramatically more than the other four countries between 1995 and 2000.
Thereafter
Linking Words
,the data
was
Verb problem
showed
show examples
fairly
Correct article usage
a fairly
show examples
 steady growth
almost
Change preposition
of almost
show examples
 10
percent
Use synonyms
 between 2000 and 2005.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
,the
number
Use synonyms
 was a dramatic rose start with 2005 for the next 5 years.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,during
this
Linking Words
 period,
France
Change noun form
France's
show examples
 sightsees
number
Use synonyms
rise
Replace the word
rose
show examples
lasted
Verb problem
apply
show examples
between 1995 and 2005
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
after the visitors grew dramatically almost
increased
Verb problem
apply
show examples
15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 between 2005 and 2010,the
number
Use synonyms
 higher than the two countries.
In addition
Linking Words
, Brazil and Egypt were similar line graphs the data rose and fell over the period,but the trend was upward between 1995 and 2010.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 3 times.
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