Nowadays, it is becoming more popular to see animals to be kept in captivity, for instance, the zoo Do the advantage of keeping animal in the zoo outweight the disadvantage?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the present day, keeping
animals
in captivity is likely to be more popular,
for example
, the zoos.
However
,I have a personally balanced opinion on
this
issue and
this
essay will describe both sides with some illustrated examples. In fact, people get used to seeing
animals
kept in zoos for many decades. It is undoubtedly that the public likes to see because they could spend leisure time with family there,where it is
such
a great activity for any weekend.
This
might be called the first benefit of
this
animal arrangement.
Secondly
, for some rare
species
, being kept in the
zoo
may be the best solution to prevent their existence compared with letting them free living.
For instance
, one
species
of tiger is almost extinct. So the government allow a related organization to take responsibility for keeping them existing in the
zoo
.
Conversely
, being kept in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos might not
a
Add a missing verb
be a
show examples
good choice for some wild
animals
. some
species
of
animals
might live freely as wild
animals
which may be the better alternative for them,
such
as tiger,lion or fog.
As a consequence
, having the relevant organization involved is another solution for animal existence.
However
, the number of
animals
kept in captivity should be considered by the assigned organization with a comprehensive understanding, which requires a knowledge of wild and
zoo
animals
.
To conclude
, I personally have a balanced opinion that keeping the
animals
in the
zoo
should depend on lots of factors considered by relevant organizations.
However
, letting them live as a wild animal might be a good alternative for some
species
as well.
Submitted by phanphetpor on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Provide specific and detailed examples to strengthen arguments. More real-world cases with exact figures or events could make your points more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
A more nuanced exploration of the disadvantages of keeping animals in zoos, beyond stating it is not ideal for wild animals, is needed. For example, discussing the psychological impacts on animals or the ethical considerations would enrich the essay.
supported main points
Be cautious with spelling, grammar, and punctuation to improve overall clarity. The mix-up between words like 'existence' and 'extinction' can lead to confusion.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly sets out both sides of the argument, allowing readers to understand the essay's purpose from the beginning.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes a conclusion that summarizes the main points and provides a balanced opinion, which is a strong element.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay is clear, with separate paragraphs discussing the advantages and disadvantages of keeping animals in captivity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: