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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows the amount of waste production [in millions of tonnes] in six different countries over a twenty-year period.

The table below shows the amount of waste production [in millions of tonnes] in six different countries over a twenty-year period.
#amount #waste #production #[in #millions #tonnes] #six #countries #period
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The table depicts the amount of
waste
Use synonyms
 produced in
Ireland
Use synonyms
, Japan,
Korea
Use synonyms
, Poland, Portugal and
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 over a 20-year period from 1980 to 2000 It is noticeable that the amount of
waste
Use synonyms
 produced
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 the US,
Ireland
Use synonyms
, Japan, Portugal and Poland registered dramatic upward trends,
while
Linking Words
 that of
Korea
Use synonyms
 witnessed a completely opposite trajectory during the surveyed period.
US
Correct article usage
The US
show examples
, notably, was by far the most popular in
waste
Use synonyms
 output in 2000 From the outset of 1980,
waste
Use synonyms
 output in
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
were
Change the verb form
was
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 the highest, accounting for almost 131
tons
Use synonyms
, which was higher than Portugal, Poland
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Japan,
Korea
Use synonyms
 and
Ireland
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, they
sharp
Change the word
sharply
show examples
 increased and reached the highest point, with respective figures being 53
tons
Use synonyms
, 6.6
tons
Use synonyms
, 5
tons
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 and 192
tons
Use synonyms
. Commencing from 1980, approximately 0,6
tons
Use synonyms
 of the production
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
waste
Use synonyms
 came from
Ireland
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 no data is given for
waste
Use synonyms
 material in
Korea
Use synonyms
 in the initial year.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, there was a sharp rise to about 31
tons
Use synonyms
 in the figure for
Korea
Use synonyms
 in 1990, followed by a considerable decrease to nearly 19
tons
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the data of
Ireland
Use synonyms
 did not produce any
waste
Use synonyms
 in 1990, before rising to about 5
tons
Use synonyms
 in 2000
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words waste, ireland, korea, tons with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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