IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You have decided to go on a holiday abroad for 2 weeks, and you want one of your friends to go with you. Write a letter to your friend asking him to accompany you. In your letter: •explain where and when you want to go •give details of the travel, dates and costs involved •describe some of the things you want to do.

#holiday #weeks #friends #friend #•explain #•give #travel #dates #costs #•describe
Dear Mary, Hope you are great, We're getting close to the long weekend, so let's
travel
 to Turkey for 2 weeks from next Saturday. I've checked everything and I'm going to share with you the details. For the first
week
, we will
travel
 to Istanbul, the capital of Turkey. We'll stay at a
hotel
 called Vespia. It's a five-star
hotel
 and our breakfast is
also
 included in the price. During the days we can go shopping as there are numerous beautiful shopping
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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 in Istanbul. During the nights we can go to some well-known clubs and we'll drink and dance. For the second
week
, we'll
travel
 to Antalya, a coastal city, full of U-all (ultra
all inclusive
Add a hyphen
all-inclusive
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) hotels.
This
 part of the
travel
 is just for chilling out, sunbathing, and taking rest. We can indulge ourselves with delicious Turkish and international food and drinks. I
also
 got so excited hearing that we can go scuba diving in Antalya. You know that it has always been one of my dreams. I checked with a
travel
 agency and a website offering tours to Turkey. The price for
this
 tour is 1400 USD per person.
This
 price includes
one
Add a hyphen
one-week
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week
residence
Change preposition
of residence
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 in Istanbul including
hotel
, breakfast,
airport
Correct word choice
and airport
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 transfer and
one
Add a hyphen
one-week
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week
 residence in Antalya including
hotel
Add an article
a hotel
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 with all services included. I cannot wait to reserve the tour and get ready for our adventure. let me know soon, regards, Jennie
Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on

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task achievement
Consider adding a bit more detail about why you chose Turkey specifically, perhaps mentioning something about its culture or attractions to make your invitation more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are distinct and focused on one main idea. You've done this well, but it's worth keeping in mind for more complex letters.
task achievement
You've provided comprehensive details, including the destinations, dates, costs, and planned activities, which makes your letter very informative.
coherence cohesion
Your letter follows a clear structure with a logical flow from greeting, invitation, trip details, and closing, making it easy to understand and follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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