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Band 7.5

Some people think it is no longer necessary for children to go to school because they can do all their learning online. Others believe learning in schools is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #school #schools
There can be little doubt that since kids can learn anything online
therefore
 it is unnecessary for youngsters to attend the traditional school. The writer of
this
 essay argues that gaining knowledge on the
internet
 is far more convenient than the conventional school
due to
 the flexibility of schedule and reducing the potential of bullying. It is vital to understand that because of the rapid development of the
internet
, online studying is now flexible and convenient.
This
 is because students can freely customize their learning pace or learning schedule.
Moreover
, with the advantages of wireless connection, learners can study anywhere and anytime.
Therefore
, time management is clearly more suitable for each student than in traditional schools. Take Finland as a prime example, where 70% of pupils who decide to take an online learning course have a better score than conventional students who learn at school
while
 still having enough time to spend on hobbies or other sports activities.
However
, some individuals believe that online resources are unreliable. They think that the
internet
 is not suitable for academic learning because of the rarely trusted sources of information.
This
 point may be true, but youngsters who learn on the
internet
 can have instant access to various trustworthy resources and global connectivity that can assist
children
 in their learning progress.
Moreover
, there are a large number of universities,
for instance
, Cambridge University or Oxford University that provide official and trustable online curriculums for pupils all around the world. From
this
 writer's experience, cdrhilen should take an online learning course.
This
 is because the online classroom can provide a safe environment for the
children
's development.
Furthermore
, with the guard of their parents,
children
 will be safer and become more confident.
As a result
, online learning can reduce the bullying potential .
For example
, in the USA where the rate of
children
 being bullied reduced by 52% because
children
 are encouraged to study online. Taking all points into account, it has been demonstrated that youngsters should learn on the
Internet
 because of the convenience of creating a schedule and reducing the rate of bullying.
Thus
, traditional schools will be replaced by virtual ones in the near future.
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task achievement
Make sure to address counterarguments thoroughly to provide a balanced view. This can help in achieving higher marks for task response.
coherence cohesion
Although the essay is well-structured, try to use varied sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary to improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and provides a preview of the points that will be discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes with a strong summary of the arguments, reinforcing the writer’s point of view.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • customizable learning pace
  • global connectivity
  • social skills development
  • self-discipline
  • unequal access to technology
  • structured environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • supervised learning
  • one-size-fits-all approach
  • peer pressure
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