Some people say free time activities for children should be organised by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today’s society, some believe that
parents
should arrange
activities
for their
children
during their leisure time,
while
others contend that allowing
children
to choose the
activities
they want to do is more crucial.
This
question has become a matter of considerable debate.
Therefore
,
this
essay will explore both viewpoints, and I believe that
children
should have the freedom to choose the
activities
they are interested in. On the one hand, advocates of having
parents
arrange
activities
argue that,
due to
their extensive life experience and knowledge,
parents
can select beneficial and wise
activities
for their
children
,
such
as piano classes, swimming lessons, and language courses—all of which contribute to developing
children
’s
overall
abilities.
This
, in turn, not only helps them learn a wide range of useful skills but
also
paves the way for their future.
As a result
, organising well-informed engagements by
parents
brings about numerous benefits.
On the other hand
, proponents of empowering
children
to choose their own leisure
activities
assert that prioritising
children
’s hobbies and interests offers more advantages.
For instance
, if
children
are passionate about dance, engaging in dancing
activities
enhances their sense of satisfaction and improves their confidence, thereby boosting their
overall
well-being.
Furthermore
, allowing
children
to freely select
activities
can help them discover their talents, which may open more doors for education and job opportunities in the long run. For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that having
parents
arrange
activities
can result in some benefits,
while
allowing
children
to choose their own
activities
brings about more positive impacts,
such
as improved well-being, increased satisfaction, and talent development.
Consequently
,
this
approach leads to more beneficial effects for
children
.
Submitted by zora840810 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay effectively presents both viewpoints and provides a clear opinion, staying on topic throughout. However, including more specific and varied examples could further strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is generally well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Consider using a variety of linking phrases to enhance cohesion.
structure
The introduction clearly states the two sides of the debate and provides a clear thesis statement on the writer’s perspective.
structure
Each paragraph is well-organized with a clear main idea, making it easy to follow the essay’s arguments.
structure
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer’s opinion, providing a strong ending to the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: