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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification
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There are different views on whether undergraduate students should be versatile and explore other subjects, or dedicate fully to their major and pursue a qualification. I believe that it would be worthwhile for young students to follow their curiosity and take up things that they are interested in. The reasons and benefits for keeping an open mind are as follows.
Firstly
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, there should be no doubt that people in their twenties acquire new skills and understand complicated concepts more quickly. As the age grows, the cognitive level will decline.
Secondly
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, the resources that universities could provide are unique and valuable.
For instance
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, research in science, linguistics and archaeology are strongly affiliated with universities and institutes and it is hard for normal people to access them.
Finally
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 but not least, with more skills, one has more options. A diverse range of knowledge would increase the possibility of employment.
For example
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, the combination of skills in information technology and knowledge from a specific area is becoming a necessity when one attempts to achieve something outstanding nowadays.
However
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, it should be acknowledged that focusing on the major is not a negative choice at all.
Instead
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, most people enrol because of their passion and interest in their favourable fields. A qualification is a clear and reachable goal for everyone and without distractions from irrelevant issues, there are more possibilities of becoming an expert in a particular field.
Moreover
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, the basis for pursuing other subjects should be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good behaviour in one's major. In conclusion, it is necessary for a college student to ensure a good performance in their major but universities should encourage and enable students to explore various choices as much as possible.
Submitted by micilan on

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task achievement
Aim to deepen the explanation of concepts in the introduction. This can add more weight to your argument and engage the reader more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Vary your sentence structures to include more complex sentences alongside simple ones. This can enhance the overall readability and depth of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and relevant, providing a clear framework for your essay.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, such as the combination of skills in information technology and specific knowledge areas, which help to illustrate your points effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • interdisciplinary connections
  • critical thinking
  • global issues
  • consumer behavior
  • versatile
  • employers
  • principles of management
  • leadership roles
  • project management
  • personal growth
  • self-discovery
  • hidden talents
  • field of expertise
  • pioneers
  • highly proficient
  • demanding fields
  • in-depth knowledge
  • specialized studies
  • professional standards
  • employer expectations
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