Nowadays many young people are drawn towards dangerous sports. What makes them so attractive? What measures should be taken to regulate such sports and minimise the risks?
There are lots of activities which could go tragically wrong and prove to be dangerous. Some modern youngsters are fond of
such
sports
, this
essay will explore why this
may be the case and what can be done to reduce the risks of getting involved in those types of activities.
One of the reasons why dangerous sports
are appealing to some young people is that they may believe that being fearless and taking risks are extraordinary characteristics, therefore
, it will make them popular among their peers. For example
, teenagers may get a boost of confidence and a sense of achievement when boasting to their friends about taking part in a fast car race. This
is because they may believe that others will see them as superior and as role models. This
attention is sought by some of the youngsters choosing to spend their free time getting involved in dangerous sports
.
To improve the situation and to protect the wellbeing of participants, some regulatory measures should be introduced by sports
organisers. One way they can do this
is by introducing strict safety protocols that must be adhered to by all those that
take part. Correct pronoun usage
who
Moreover
, hefty fines and penalties such
as being banned from participating could be put in place to ensure safety measures are being followed at all times. The result of such
regulations will mean that accidents are reduced in high-risk sports
.
In conclusion, being popular among peer groups may trigger youngsters to turn towards risky activities and it is the responsibility of the sport organisers to ensure that safety protocols are in place and are adhered to by everyone that takes part.Submitted by Mangalakumaran.sangeetha on
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task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task prompt and provided a clear introduction and conclusion. However, providing more specific examples could enhance your argumentation and strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured and easy to follow. Ensure that each paragraph contains a single main idea and that your supporting sentences clearly align with this main idea.
language and style
While your points are comprehensive and clear, varying your sentence structures could add complexity and depth to your writing. This would further demonstrate your language proficiency.
structure
You have a well-organized essay with a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting your ideas effectively.
content
The ideas presented are relevant to the topic and provide a satisfactory response to the task prompt.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite