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Writing Samples
Band 8

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children, Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couple who decide to do this.

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Nowadays, the global birth rate has declined as more married
couples
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 choose not to conceive for various reasons. Financial freedom, pursuing unthinkable hobbies, and better living standards are the main reasons why many parents do not have
children
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the disadvantages of
this
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 decision. On the one hand, there are many obstacles to having no offspring.
Firstly
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, married
couples
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 may lose their sense of direction and feel like they are missing out when their friends talk about their
children
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.
For example
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, they may question the rightness of their decision and wonder why many people like them chose parenthood. They might feel isolated and disconnected from friends who are raising
children
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, owing to their lack of understanding and experience in parenting.
Secondly
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, some
couples
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 might fear future regret over their decision not to have
children
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 as they age. Preparing an appropriate pension scheme after retirement becomes critical because nursing home payments may be their only option if they cannot self-care. They may feel isolated and lonely in old age compared to the happiness they might have experienced with their descendants.
Consequently
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, these elderly may provoke a sense of remorse when isolated.
On the other hand
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,
this
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 phenomenon has some advantages.
Initially
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, the foremost benefit is that
couples
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 have more money as they do not need to save for backup plans and have more time for themselves
due to
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 less demanding career goals. They can follow their favourite lifestyles, achieve work-life balance, engage in preferred activities, and invest in their hobbies.
As a result
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, they can travel together within their monetary capacity and focus more on their relationship. Some experiences would be unforgettable and impossible if they became parents.
Additionally
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, having no offspring allows them to avoid the strain of the monetary rat race needed to fulfil physical demands.
This
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also
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 prevents strain on their relationship
due to
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 the demands of parenthood.
For instance
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, the financial pressure on breadwinners and postpartum depression in wives can be avoided, leading to better living standards.
To conclude
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, there are some disadvantages to choosing not to conceive, including losing direction when young and experiencing depression in middle age. Ultimately, financial freedom and better living conditions are the primary motivations for some parents who decide not to have
children
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.

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task achievement
To achieve a higher score, you could integrate more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, data or real-life anecdotes can make your points more compelling. Additionally, you might want to explore counter-arguments slightly deeper to showcase a well-rounded discussion.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay is logically structured and cohesive, try to use more sophisticated linking devices between ideas to enhance the flow. This can make your writing appear more polished and cohesive.
general linguistic accuracy
Pay attention to some grammatical inaccuracies and phrasing issues. Phrases like 'Preparing an appropriate pension scheme after retirement becomes critical' could be rephrased for clarity. You can consider practicing varied sentence structures to polish your writing further.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear and effective structure with a strong introduction and conclusion. This facilitates a better understanding of your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Your main points are well-supported and logically organized, making your arguments cogent and easy to follow.
task achievement
You effectively address both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a balanced perspective. This is crucial for a complete task response.
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