Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?
Certain people believe that
success
can be achieved through professional business or jobs. Others think that academics is the one factor in becoming a successful person
. However
, there are innumerable measures that contribute to success
such
as health, happiness and money. I concur with the prior that I believe, success
is something that you enjoy with your near and dear.
It is irrefutable that education imparted a person
with knowledge
and information so in this
way an individual has a right move towards success
. Secondly
, it provides a myriad of opportunities to become wealthy. For instance
, universities empower students with knowledge
and an efficient way to communicate with others in this
competitive world. At present well educated become more wealthy as compared to illiterate. While
good at career or in employment it gives a person
a shortcut to become successful in the least amount of time because success
is also
associated with experience. Someone said that the more you have experience or knowledge
the more you become successful in the near future.
On the other hand
, success
is not measured by a person
's knowledge
. However
, different people have different opinions about it. To elucidate, money, health and happiness are the kinds of success
. Additionally
, making ends meet for the family or dearest is an achievement for some individuals. Moreover
, health, mental as well as
physical are precious things for a lot of people. For example
, happiness ultimately leads to success
.
In conclusion, Although
education has the power which is needed for success
. On the contrary
, success
has different definitions for everyone and in the end everyone needs to become happy and this
is the real success
for them.Submitted by seharfazal9 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To achieve a higher score, refine your transitions between paragraphs to enhance the logical flow of ideas. For example, use clear linking phrases such as "Furthermore" or "In addition" to introduce new points.
Task Achievement
Integrate more specific examples to illustrate your points more effectively. For instance, provide a real-world example of someone who achieved success through education or a specific career path.
Task Achievement
Ensure clarity and improve sentence structure by avoiding overly complex sentences. Simplify where possible to maintain the reader's focus and comprehension.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize the main points.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the prompt comprehensively, discussing different perspectives on success and providing your own view.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and your main points are generally well-supported, which aids in reader understanding.