IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In today's digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. this accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#age #anyone #smartphone #photographs #accessibility #photography #value #photographers
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Nowadays, many people have a mobile phone on hand and instantly can take a photo because it is easy and
consequently
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 reduces the opportunity to hire photographer services. I agree with
this
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 because most companies are not interested in hiring them
due to
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 easy access to the use of devices and high costs. First and foremost, if companies compare the convenience of capturing a moment only clicking a button is more accessible rather to call professional services. To illustrate
this
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, if the business needs to launch a new campaign, they should book in advance a professional, but if they can not find someone, they will not be able to finish their job.
Furthermore
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, if an important launch is relevant verify the recommendations to warranty the quality.
Due to
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 these reasons, it is easier for employers
Fix the infinitive
to
show examples
take and edit
photos
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 immediately.
In addition
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, hiring a professional involves high costs. Not all entrepreneurs can afford an advertising campaign, but many people have good-quality cameras on smartphones.
Moreover
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, they will be able to take quality
photos
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 instantly.
Otherwise
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, revenue will be less than the startups expect
due to
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 expenses on photographers. Even though commercial use is relevant, they may deal with apps to create beautiful
photos
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. As they do not have enough financier resources, they have drastically reduced the cost.
To conclude
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, the digital age has changed drastically the traditional way of hiring experts to capture special moments, decreasing the need for them because it is easier to take
photos
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 through a smartphone and more affordable.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is great. However, you should try to ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your thesis statement. For instance, the second paragraph could be more closely tied to the overall argument about the diminished value of professional photographers.
task achievement
While you address both the accessibility of smartphones and the high costs of professional photographers, expanding on specific examples or case studies could make your argument stronger. Perhaps consider including examples of companies or campaigns that chose smartphone photography over professional services.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use transitional phrases to connect ideas and maintain a logical progression.
coherence cohesion
You present a clear, structured response to the topic, starting with an understandable introduction and ending with a definitive conclusion. This shows good essay organization.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear and easy to understand. You make a solid argument and support it with relevant points about accessibility and cost.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital age
  • smartphone
  • capture
  • share
  • accessibility
  • professional photographers
  • diminishes
  • value
  • high-quality photos
  • social media platforms
  • demand
  • editing tools
  • filters
  • mobile apps
  • expertise
  • creativity
  • technical skills
  • high-quality results
  • commercial use
  • personal use
  • professional services
  • events
  • weddings
  • corporate shoots
  • advertising campaigns
  • professional equipment
  • lighting
  • composition
  • post-processing
  • superior photos
  • specialized fields
  • wildlife
  • sports
  • fashion photography
  • market saturation
  • stand out
  • create and share images
  • art form
  • convey messages
  • emotions
  • stories
  • casual smartphone users
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