Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and teamwork skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In today’s rapidly changing world, there is an ongoing debate about whether schools should focus on instilling a competitive spirit in

students

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or prioritize

cooperation

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and teamwork skills.

While

Linking Words

some believe that competition prepares

students

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for real-world challenges, others argue that collaboration is

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

essential in modern

work

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and social environments.

This

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essay will explore both perspectives before presenting my own view. Supporters of competitive learning argue that it motivates

students

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to strive for excellence. In academic settings, competition can push

students

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work

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harder, set higher goals, and achieve better results.

For instance

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students

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often compete for top grades, scholarships, or positions in school leadership, which encourages them to study diligently.

Moreover

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, in many professional fields,

such

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as sales or entrepreneurship, being competitive is crucial for survival and success.

Therefore

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, fostering a competitive mindset at a young age can help

students

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build resilience and a strong

work

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ethic.

On the other hand

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, many believe that teamwork and

cooperation

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are more valuable in the long term. In the modern workplace, most tasks are completed collaboratively, requiring individuals to communicate effectively, respect others’ ideas, and

work

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towards a common goal. Teaching

students

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how to cooperate not only develops their social skills but

also

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prepares them for diverse environments.

Furthermore

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cooperation

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reduces unhealthy rivalry and promotes mutual support, which can lead to better emotional well-being and stronger community values among

students

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. After considering both arguments, I believe that

while

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healthy competition can be beneficial in small doses, schools should place greater emphasis on

cooperation

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and teamwork. These skills are essential for personal and professional development in the interconnected world we live in today. By encouraging collaboration, educators can help

students

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become more adaptable, empathetic, and effective members of society.

elfamichellia.kSun May 18 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Consider connecting your ideas more explicitly with the use of linking phrases. This can help strengthen cohesion within your paragraphs.

task achievement

While your examples are relevant, incorporating a wider variety of specific instances or studies could further enhance your points.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear understanding of both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced discussion.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction effectively sets up the essay, clearly outlining the topic to be discussed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

competitiveness
teamwork
collaboration
motivation
empathy
interpersonal skills
community
holistic development
successful outcomes
strive
achievements
proponents
conflicts
balance
personal development
professional success

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Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and teamwork skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

some people believe that students should learn science subjects at schools while others believe that other subjects like history is also beneficial for them discuss both views

Many countries raise fuel prices to deal successfully with problems of traffic and polluon. What effects do you think this move can have? What other measures do you think can be taken to reduce traffic and pollution ?

People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves, their family and the society so working long hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree.

if teenagers at 14 years old are not good at studying, it’s a better choice for them to leave school and be trained with certain skills to find a job easily.

Your family is going to move to another town. Write a letter to the Principal of a local school asking if they will accept your son. Describe his academic achievements and scope of interests. You do NOT need to write any address.