Some people think that one should plan detailed activities for their leisure time, while others disagree with this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #plan #activities #leisure #time

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Although

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it is sometimes thought that

people

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ought to prepare comprehensive itineraries for their recreation

time

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, there is disagreement on

this

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matter. In my opinion, I consider that planning in-depth activities helps individuals use their

time

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efficiently and make the most of their meaningful vacation

time

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. On the one hand, some

people

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think that they can ensure that they engage in meaningful

time

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and enjoyable pursuits without wasting

time

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deciding what to do by planning the details of activities for their recreation

time

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For example

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, the company’s advocate team plans their engagements in advance, allocating specific

time

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slots for employee interests.

Consequently

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, they maximise their

time

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for their self-care and fostering self-awareness.

Furthermore

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, setting up elaborate plans can lead to increased productivity as

people

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are more motivated when they have clear schedules, resulting in efficient

time

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management and goal achievement.

On the other hand

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, over-planing can indeed limit spontaneity and flexibility, thereby constraining persons in their free

time

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. When every moment is meticulously scheduled, there is little room for adventures or exciting experiences,

for instance

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, rigid plans might be a cause of missed opportunities for fun moments.

Moreover

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this

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approach can contribute to burnout, especially when

people

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feel the constant pressure to optimize every aspect of their pastimes. The relentless pursuit of productivity can rob individuals of the enjoyment they seek which makes them feel exhausted. In conclusion,

while

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excessive planning may have disadvantages, I think that it is the key to maximise the value of rest and relaxation

time

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which promotes

overall

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well-being.

Submitted by ssssisi on Sun Apr 28 2024

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language accuracy

Be cautious with minor grammatical errors and consider varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement.

detail enrichment

To further improve, try weaving in more specific examples or real-life scenarios to vividly illustrate your points.

structure

Your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, discussion of both views, and a conclusion that reflects your opinion.

coherence

You have effectively used linking words to maintain the flow of ideas, which contributes to the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

balanced argument

Your argument is well-balanced, discussing both sides before stating your own opinion, which satisfies the task requirement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

leisure time
detailed activities
making the most
variety of experiences
waste of time
over-scheduling
spontaneity
relaxation
increase stress
balanced approach
impromptu decisions

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Some people think that one should plan detailed activities for their leisure time, while others disagree with this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people get into debt buying things they don’t need and can’t ‎afford.What are the reasons for this behaviour?What action can be taken ‎to prevent people having this problem?

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Difference between countries are becoming less evident. Nowadays, people are watching the same films, fashion, brands, advetisements and TV channels. To what extent do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their subjects, other believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for all qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own view.