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Band 6.5

`Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication has a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#`some #people #computers #phones #communication #effect #people’s #skills
The adverse impact of the usage of computers and mobile phones for
communication
 has been a debatable matter for quite a few years. I personally disagree with
such
 a statement because the benefit of online
communication
 has more to offer than the disadvantages. Aside from that,
people
 are considered to have real offline
communication
 than online. Nowadays, negative impressions towards gadgets are being discussed all over the world.
For instance
,
people
 said online communications could lead individuals to laziness in terms of real-time
conversation
. We can just simply put out our mobile phone and start a
conversation
 instantly even when they are on a different side of the world.
Consequently
, that instance would make individuals not consider a real-life
conversation
 with one another.
Moreover
, online
communication
 would lead to a bigger chance of crimes. Criminals are now moving to online
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
 to do fraud, they are pretending to be someone's relatives to trick them for some money. It can easily be done
due to
 many information that online platforms have in store.
Nonetheless
, those negative impacts would not make
such
 a big deal compared to the many benefits that gadgets bring. Even though the simplicity of gadget communications has much to offer, the post-pandemic era made
people
 realize that they eventually need real social interaction with other individuals.
Subsequently
, nowadays some
people
 only use online messaging applications to make offline appointments with their relatives and have a long decent real-time
conversation
 afterwards. In conclusion, when we are talking about the damaging impact of online communications, it would not be really relevant in
this
 post-pandemic era because
people
 already experience a boring life without real-life interactions.
Submitted by Selectnames on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to another. Use more transitional phrases to link your points effectively, and clarify any ambiguous statements.
task achievement
In terms of task response, better support your arguments with specific examples and elaborate on your ideas more comprehensively to make your position clearer. This will enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, which is essential for a well-organized response.
task response
The essay addresses the task prompt adequately, stating a clear opinion and trying to provide a balanced view with supporting arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital media
  • keyboards
  • auto-correct
  • predictive text
  • screen time
  • focus
  • attention span
  • blogs
  • social media posts
  • online articles
  • writing skills
  • formal writing
  • informal writing
  • communication contexts
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