IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the changes in three different areas of crime in Manchester city centre from 2003-2012.

The chart below shows the changes in three different areas of crime in Manchester city centre from 2003-2012.
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The line graph illustrates the information regarding the
rate
Use synonyms
 of the change in Burglary,
Car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
,
Robbery
Correct word choice
and Robbery
show examples
 in Manchester City
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 between 2003 and 2012. Looking at the
overall
Linking Words
 structure, it is readily apparent that the
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
 crime
rate
Use synonyms
 was demonstrated by an upward indication over the period
while
Linking Words
 the least indication was shown by Burglary. Probably, it is mainly noticeable that in the initial year, the Burglary
rate
Use synonyms
 was reached at the top range.
Then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 indication fell severely
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
from 2004 to 2012.
Besides
Linking Words
, the crime
rate
Use synonyms
 of
car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
 continued to rise significantly every year. After that, the
overall
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
robbery
rate
Use synonyms
 almost remained stable which
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 roughly 500.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the period,
this
Linking Words
 place becomes more stable
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some cases.
Car
Use synonyms
theft
Use synonyms
 crime has fluctuated, beginning from 2003 to the end of 2009 with above 2.000 and under 2.500. The numbers changed around 1.000 cases between 2009 and 2012.
Although
Linking Words
 less a number of robberies than in any of the other crimes.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, car, theft with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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