Some people say the government should give healthcare the first priority, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend taxer’s money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Worldwide governments must properly manage the monetary resources in all
fields
. Many people argue that the most important topic on which governors should focus is the healthcare system,
nevertheless
, I staunchly consider that
although
the health field is vital in the development of societies, money has to be equally distributed. In
this
essay, I will discuss both sides
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and explain my reasons in detail. To start with, it is well-known that people have to be healthy in order to be able to perform other tasks,
then
disease prevention
as well as
health promotion are crucial to guarantee quality of life in humankind.
Then
, most countries are spending on campaigns to improve lifestyles and drop the ever-increasing incidence of chronic diseases,
such
as primary hypertension, diabetes, heart attack, etc.
Additionally
, many other policies have been taken into account to prevent the spread of contagious illnesses.
This
is exemplified by the COVID-19 vaccination campaigns which were performed resulting in a reduction of the mortality and morbidity related to
this
disease.
Conversely
, many other topics have to be taken into consideration, namely education, security, and the environment.
This
means that governors have to maintain a balance among all
fields
in order to generate an integral development.
Otherwise
, if there is no proportional distribution, people who belong to the
fields
that receive less support might suffer from scarcity and poverty.
For instance
, in Colombia most resources have been spent on the environment,
nonetheless
, the performance of students in schools has plummeted and the population has no security because the rate of crimes committed every day has rocketed. The aforementioned points are explained by the lack of opportunities.
To sum up
, the healthcare system should be considered one of the main
fields
to be spent on.
However
, there are many other social issues that
also
have to be taken into account and equally supported by the government
Submitted by luciaagudelomotta on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next to maintain logical progression.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to bolster your arguments further.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured introduction and conclusion that clearly state the purpose of the essay.
supported main points
Main points are consistently supported with relevant examples.
task achievement
Complete response to the prompt, covering both views and providing a personal opinion.
task achievement
Clear and comprehensive ideas are well-articulated throughout the essay.

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