Freshwater has always been a limited resource in some parts of the world. Today, however, growing worldwide demand has made this a global problem. What are the causes of this increased demand, and what measures could governments and individuals take to respond to this problem?
An increase in
water
demand has increased in recent years as freshwater has been considered as
a limited resource and has become a main problem in the world. In Change preposition
apply
this
essay, both reasons and solutions of
Change preposition
to
this
matter will be outlined in the following paragraphs before reaching a conclusion.
To begin
with, there are several reasons why freshwater is now a global problem and one of the most significant is the carelessness of citizens. To explain in greater detail, many people still use an excessive amount of water
in their household chores or in their lifestyles. Furthermore
, in some countries, a number of water
activities organised by the government are still being held and thus
a large amount of water
is used. To specifically demonstrate, in my country, Thailand, as we already know there are many countries all around the world that lack water
, I can still see plenty of individuals open their taps during car washes, do the dishes, etc. In addition
, the authorities just recently organised Songkran
festival and used a ton of Correct article usage
the Songkran
water
in this
event.
On the other side of the coin, in order to tackle and address this
problem, we need a high level of collaboration and cooperation between the governments and residents. To elaborate further
, the states have to incentivise and encourage the public to highly pay attention to water
usage. Moreover
, people also
need to pressure and discourage their governments from organising events that work on an excessive amount of water
. An apt illustration of this
is that in Japan, the government already launched upcoming and emerging campaigns about reducing water
usage in households and if more than the maximum point, those households will be fined. Besides
, when the government is trying to set events that use freshwater, citizens always voice and lodge complaints in order to stop those activities.
At the end
of the day, it is undeniable that water
insufficiency these days become a vital issue in our world as some people still ignore their water
-related activities. Therefore
, we need an effective and productive synergy between the states and citizens to ease and mitigate this
matter promptly.Submitted by nnatthinee on
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Task Response
Overall, your essay is coherent and logically structured. However, try to avoid redundancy in phrasing. For example, instead of saying 'An increase in water demand has increased,' you can say 'Water demand has increased.' This will help to make your writing more concise.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay's organization is strong, but it would benefit from more varied transitional phrases. This would improve the flow between your paragraphs and make your arguments clearer to the reader.
Task Response
Your main points are supported well, but try to integrate more specific examples and data to strengthen your arguments. This will not only support your points more effectively but also make your essay more convincing.
Task Response
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which adds to its overall coherence. You clearly outline the causes and solutions, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay is logically structured, and each paragraph focuses on a single idea, which is well-supported. This makes your argument easy to follow and understand.
Task Response
You provide relevant examples, particularly those related to Thailand and Japan, which help to substantiate your points. This adds relevance and depth to your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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