In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the previous decade,
people
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captured
knowledge
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in
books
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.
However
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, in
today
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today's
show examples
digital age, most individuals believe that
knowledge
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was
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is
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contained on the social networking
site
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. It is the writer who strongly
support
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supports
show examples
that the benefits of a variety of valuable
knowledge
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and
contanstly
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constantly
access
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information
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to information
show examples
on the
internet
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far outweigh the
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
of illegal and misleading
information
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. One of the main beneficial aspects of storing
knowledge
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on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
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instead
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of storing
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
books
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. There is no
little
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apply
show examples
doubt that the
internet
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brings more conveniences for
people
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to
captured
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capture
show examples
knowledge
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in all
fields
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.
Moreover
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,
people
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can contain more in-depth or professional
data
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throughout the social networking
site
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. There is no limitation about
information
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in all areas
in
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of
show examples
our
life
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on the
internet
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and
people
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update the newest
information
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on the
internet
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immediately
instead
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of waiting for
publication
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the publication
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of new
books
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.
For instance
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, relying on a public survey
a
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of a
show examples
specific American university, a large percentage of students
choose
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chose
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to capture new
knowledge
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for their assignments and
knowledge
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is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
stored in
books
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was
chose
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chosen
show examples
by a few
number
Change to a plural noun
numbers
show examples
of students. Because they believe that
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
brings more valuable and useful
information
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for them in any circumstances. Another significant advantage of containing
data
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in the social networking
site
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is saving
significantly
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significant
show examples
time
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for all
people
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, regardless of age and sex. It is a transport to approach immediately
information
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everywhere and
everytime
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every time
show examples
.
People
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can easily and quickly
act to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
access more
fields
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in their
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. They
also
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spend less
time
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achieving
Verb problem
acquiring
show examples
knowledge
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on the
internet
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,
whereas
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books
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take a massive amount of
time
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to be read before storing some necessary
knowledge
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.
Hence
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,
people
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prefer
Add the particle
prefer to
show examples
utilize modern technology to constantly approach their
data
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anywhere and anytime.
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
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is clear evidence that
people
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at
Change preposition
of
show examples
all ages presently use
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
to update the latest news and capture more
data
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in
this
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day and age far more than reading
books
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in
Change preposition
for
show examples
a long
time
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to contain
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
information
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in many specific areas. The main drawback associated with
knowledge
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being stored
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
internet
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in
this
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hustle and bustle of
life
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is the illegal and misinformation
data
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. In
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
day, some
people
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are interested in posting without any verification so
that
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apply
show examples
a lot of misleading
information
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are
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is
show examples
expanded quickly in public.
By
Change preposition
For
show examples
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
reason, their community declines the social levels and supports
for
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apply
show examples
the bad behaviours.
Futhurmore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
this
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action has some negative impact on health-related and law-related
fields
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in each person's
life
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. Take
Vietnamese
Correct article usage
the Vietnamese
show examples
community as a specific example for
this
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statement, a lot of teenagers lean towards a trend which
share
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shares
show examples
and
express
Correct subject-verb agreement
expresses
show examples
their emotions about particular problems but they do not exactly know the realistic levels.
Moreover
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, there are more and more illegal
information
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are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
spreaded
Correct your spelling
spread
show examples
by Vietnamese without
verifications
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verification
show examples
by anyone.
Thus
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,
this
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activity may bring more terrible consequences for each
life
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and society. Considering all of these factors, strong
knowledge
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in
Change preposition
of
show examples
social networking
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site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
show examples
is a key method to gain more valuable and useful
knowledge
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and immediately approach their needed
date
Correct your spelling
data
show examples
in all
fields
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still
outweigh
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outweighed
show examples
by the wrong
information
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.
Hence
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, the
Internet
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is far more beneficial for our developing
life
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than
books
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in any way.
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task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the topic, but some sentences lack clarity and accuracy. Try to make your points more concise and ensure that each paragraph directly supports your main argument.
task achievement
Ensure that each point is clearly supported with relevant examples. While the essay attempts to include examples, they sometimes do not fully support the point being made. More specific and detailed examples will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a smoother logical structure. The flow between paragraphs could be improved by using better transitional phrases. This will help in making your essay more coherent.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful. Ensure your introduction sets the stage effectively for your argument, and your conclusion clearly summarizes the main points discussed.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task and presents a clear argument about the advantages and disadvantages of storing knowledge on the internet.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas, and the essay is generally well-structured.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Accessibility
  • Instantly
  • Efficient
  • Deteriorate
  • Collaboration
  • Innovation
  • Reliance
  • Data security
  • Digital divide
  • Socio-economic
  • Over-dependence
  • Critically evaluate
  • Surface-level learning
What to do next:
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