In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
In the previous decade,
people
captured knowledge
in books
. However
, in today
digital age, most individuals believe that Change noun form
today's
knowledge
was
contained on the social networking Wrong verb form
is
site
. It is the writer who strongly support
that the benefits of a variety of valuable Change the verb form
supports
knowledge
and contanstly
access Correct your spelling
constantly
information
on the Change preposition
to information
internet
far outweigh the drawback
of illegal and misleading Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
information
.
One of the main beneficial aspects of storing knowledge
on the
social Correct article usage
apply
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
instead
of storing in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
books
. There is no little
doubt that the Correct word choice
apply
internet
brings more conveniences for people
to captured
Change the form of the verb
capture
knowledge
in all fields
. Moreover
, people
can contain more in-depth or professional data
throughout the social networking site
. There is no limitation about information
in all areas in
our Change preposition
of
life
on the internet
and people
update the newest information
on the internet
immediately instead
of waiting for publication
of new Add an article
the publication
books
. For instance
, relying on a public survey a
specific American university, a large percentage of students Change preposition
of a
choose
to capture new Wrong verb form
chose
knowledge
for their assignments and knowledge
is
stored in Unnecessary verb
apply
books
was chose
by a few Change the form of the verb
chosen
number
of students. Because they believe that Change to a plural noun
numbers
internet
brings more valuable and useful Correct article usage
the internet
information
for them in any circumstances.
Another significant advantage of containing data
in the social networking site
is saving significantly
Change the adverb
significant
time
for all people
, regardless of age and sex. It is a transport to approach immediately information
everywhere and everytime
. Replace the word
every time
People
can easily and quickly act to
access more Verb problem
apply
fields
in their life
. They Fix the agreement mistake
lives
also
spend less time
achieving
Verb problem
acquiring
knowledge
on the internet
, whereas
books
take a massive amount of time
to be read before storing some necessary knowledge
. Hence
, people
prefer
utilize modern technology to constantly approach their Add the particle
prefer to
data
anywhere and anytime. It
is clear evidence that Correct pronoun usage
There
people
at
all ages presently use Change preposition
of
internet
to update the latest news and capture more Add an article
the internet
data
in this
day and age far more than reading books
in
a long Change preposition
for
time
to contain some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
information
in many specific areas.
The main drawback associated with knowledge
being stored in
the Change preposition
on
internet
in this
hustle and bustle of life
is the illegal and misinformation data
. In present
day, some Add an article
the present
people
are interested in posting without any verification so that
a lot of misleading Correct word choice
apply
information
are
expanded quickly in public. Change the verb form
is
By
Change preposition
For
the
reason, their community declines the social levels and supports Correct determiner usage
this
for
the bad behaviours. Change preposition
apply
Futhurmore
, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
this
action has some negative impact on health-related and law-related fields
in each person's life
. Take Vietnamese
community as a specific example for Correct article usage
the Vietnamese
this
statement, a lot of teenagers lean towards a trend which share
and Change the verb form
shares
express
their emotions about particular problems but they do not exactly know the realistic levels. Correct subject-verb agreement
expresses
Moreover
, there are more and more illegal information
are
Change the verb form
is
spreaded
by Vietnamese without Correct your spelling
spread
verifications
by anyone. Fix the agreement mistake
verification
Thus
, this
activity may bring more terrible consequences for each life
and society.
Considering all of these factors, strong knowledge
in
social networking Change preposition
of
site
is a key method to gain more valuable and useful Fix the agreement mistake
sites
knowledge
and immediately approach their needed date
in all Correct your spelling
data
fields
still outweigh
by the wrong Wrong verb form
outweighed
information
. Hence
, the Internet
is far more beneficial for our developing life
than books
in any way.Submitted by [email protected] on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear stance on the topic, but some sentences lack clarity and accuracy. Try to make your points more concise and ensure that each paragraph directly supports your main argument.
task achievement
Ensure that each point is clearly supported with relevant examples. While the essay attempts to include examples, they sometimes do not fully support the point being made. More specific and detailed examples will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a smoother logical structure. The flow between paragraphs could be improved by using better transitional phrases. This will help in making your essay more coherent.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful. Ensure your introduction sets the stage effectively for your argument, and your conclusion clearly summarizes the main points discussed.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task and presents a clear argument about the advantages and disadvantages of storing knowledge on the internet.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas, and the essay is generally well-structured.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
- Summary
- Restatement of thesis
- Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
- In conclusion
- To conclude
- To summarize
- Finally
- In a nutshell
- In general