IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Your friend is about to move into a new house. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter offer to help him/her to move explain how exactly you can help ask him/her some questions about the new house

#friend #move #house #offer #questions
Dear Nidhi, I hope you are in good health. I am happy that you
finally
 got your dream house. As you know, I am in the city for a few days and it's a great opportunity for you to take advantage of me in shifting; Just kidding. But, on a serious note, I would like to help you in moving since it will be difficult for you to do everything alone. I can come to your place one week before to help you with
packaging
Correct article usage
the packaging
show examples
. I have some contact information
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a few packers and movers in the city whom I booked
last
 time for myself. They are very efficient and professional to work with.
Additionally
, from my experience, I know how hectic it is to cook
while
 packing, so I can bring my own stove and some utensils.
Also
, I know you are very excited about
this
 new home, tell me more about it, how many rooms it has, and is it properly ventilated? Best wishes, Neha
Submitted by sandeepniet17 on

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Task Achievement
Your letter addresses all parts of the task very well, but you might want to add a little more detail about your questions regarding the new house to make it more engaging.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence, consider using more transitional phrases between paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
The greeting and closing were appropriate and friendly, which is very fitting for the task.
Task Achievement
The writing tone is friendly and suitable for addressing a friend, creating a natural and engaging letter.
Coherence and Cohesion
The single idea per paragraph is well-maintained, making it easy to follow and understand.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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