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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below gives information on the differences in clothing exports from three different countries.

The graph below gives information on the differences in clothing exports from three different countries.
#information #differences #exports #three #countries
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The line graph compares the amount of clothing exported by three
countries
Use synonyms
 from 1999 to 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, clothing
exports
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 from both
Colombia
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 and
Myanmar
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 had increased from their initial values by the end of the period shown. Japanese clothing
exports
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,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, had slightly declined. Interestingly, Colombian and Japanese
exports
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 showed relatively small fluctuations from 1999-2003
whereas
Linking Words
exports
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 from
Myanmar
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 were extremely volatile. Looking in more detail, in 1999
Myanmar
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 exported approximately 5
million
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dollars
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 of clothing compared to about 450
million
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dollars
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 for
Colombia
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 and 575
million
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 for Japan.
However
Linking Words
, from 1999 to 2000
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Myanmar
Change noun form
Myanmar's
show examples
 clothing
exports
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 skyrocketed, surpassing both
countries
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 for a total of 800
million
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dollars
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’ worth. The relatively small gap between Japan and
Colombia
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,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, narrowed even
further
Linking Words
 with both
countries
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 exporting around 530
million
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dollars
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 of clothes in 2000. From 2000,
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Myanmar
Change noun form
Myanmar's
show examples
 clothing
exports
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 continued to increase, reaching a peak value of 920
million
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dollars
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 in 2001 before plummeting and
then
Linking Words
 recovering slightly in 2003 for a final value of 400
million
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, the lowest among the three
countries
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.
Colombia
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, having surpassed Japan in the period from 2000 to 2001, ended up with the highest total
exports
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 in 2003 at 600
million
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dollars
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.
Submitted by a_zamjonov99 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "on the other hand".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, exports, colombia, myanmar, million, dollars with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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