Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

#celebrities #money #politicians #development

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While

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it is widely claimed that

celebrities

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yield more

money

Use synonyms

than

politicians

Use synonyms

, others argue that . Both

point

Fix the agreement mistake

points

show examples

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

and reasons why I believe that it may result in a negative effect will be elaborated on in

this

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essay.

To begin

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with, it may

seems

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seem

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sensible for some to believe that

celebrities

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earn greater

money

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due to

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personally

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personal

show examples

favouritism.

This

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possibly

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possible

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because monetary

supports

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support

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often

acted

Wrong verb form

acts

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symbol

Add an article

a symbol

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of affection from the fans in return

Change preposition

for

show examples

the

entertaining

Replace the word

entertainment

show examples

they get. Unlike

politicians

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, their role is clearly to serve the country rather than

seeking

Wrong verb form

seek

show examples

fame. People

viewed

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view

show examples

that the salary that

politicians

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recieved

Correct your spelling

receive

come

Wrong verb form

comes

show examples

from taxes we

paid

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pay

show examples

and

that is

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no wonder why they gain

fewer

Correct quantifier usage

less

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money

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. Many opponents of

this

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idea might

opposed

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oppose

be opposed

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that the popularity of renowned

peoples

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people

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than

Rephrase

rather than

show examples

politician

Fix the agreement mistake

politicians

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could bring a benefit

toward

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show examples

the country.

To simply

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Simply

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explain, they could be a soft power for one's nation to spread its culture and

improving

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improve

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its economics. Take Korea,

For example

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;

due to

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k-drama

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K-drama

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and

k-pop

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K-pop

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that

distributed

Add a missing verb

are distributed

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globally nowadays,

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

well-known

korean

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Korean

show examples

celebrities

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result in numerous trends and activities that make its nation become popular in today's world.

However

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, I personally argue in favour of maleficent development seeing that

celebrities

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as you might

supports

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support

show examples

. It is understandable that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities

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often

neglects

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neglect

show examples

when it comes to bank statement checking

while

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for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

politician

Fix the agreement mistake

politicians

show examples

it is

Verb problem

place

show examples

much emphasis on that.

For example

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, a former member of

korean

Correct your spelling

famous boy band, Seungri, who accused of prostitution. In summary,

althought

Correct your spelling

although

it is undeniable that

celebrities

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gaining more

money

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than

politicians

Use synonyms

could lead

both

Change preposition

to both

show examples

good and bad development

toward

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society, I am of the opinion that its detrimental outcomes

outweight

Correct your spelling

outweigh

its beneficial effects.

Submitted by kamonluck1999 on Sun Jun 02 2024

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task achievement

Address and balance both aspects of the question – the reasons why celebrities earn more, and whether this is a positive or negative development. Ensure you provide sufficient details for both aspects.

task achievement

Make sure examples are specific and well-explained. The example of Seungri, for instance, should be better tied to the argument and discussed more comprehensively.

coherence and cohesion

Improve sentence structures to avoid awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. This will help convey ideas more clearly.

coherence and cohesion

Maintain a clear and logical structure. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Provide statements that directly connect back to the main argument in each paragraph, reinforcing the overall position. This will enhance logical flow and coherence.

task achievement

The essay shows a good understanding of the topic by highlighting that celebrities and politicians have different roles and sources of income.

coherence and cohesion

The essay provides an introduction and a conclusion that frame the discussion, contributing to a coherent structure.

coherence and cohesion

There is a clear attempt to discuss both sides of the issue, which demonstrates a balanced perspective.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

endorsements
revenue streams
global presence
diversified branding
income sources
free-market principles
market value
government budgets
public funds
public perception
value generation
bureaucratic
consumer spending
economic implications

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Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government’s responsibility. What is your opinion?

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child having a large number of toys?

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Immigration has a major impact on the society. What are the main reasons of immigration? To what consequences can it lead?