IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think it is necessary to use animals to test medicines or products intended for human use. Others, however, criticize this as animal cruelty. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Products
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 that
test
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 animals or any human being is absolutely crucial because it causes
a
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apply
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deep damage
for
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to
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 those creatures and the person who is going to buy these
products
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 is not going to be respected by a majority of people who believe that every
creature
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 deserves to be safe.
Body · 1
I believe that there are many other ways to
test
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products
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 rather than
Correct your spelling
using
useing
Correct your spelling
using
 them on an innocent animal ,
Body · 2
Testing
products
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 on animals
Add a missing verb
is ether
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ether
Correct your spelling
either
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 going to lead them to death or to cause them
a deep injuries
Correct the article-noun agreement
deep injuries
a deep injury
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 that will affect
thier
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their
 whole life.
Body · 3
I can't understand people who think that it is necessary to
test
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products
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 on animals because from their point of view , human
live
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life
show examples
 is more worthy than animal
live
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life
show examples
. Which is an unacceptable opinion.
Body · 4
Unfortunately,
diversity
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the diversity
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 of species
are
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is
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 going to
dissaper
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disappear
 in a few years because of haunting them and making
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test
Fix the agreement mistake
tests
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 on them.
Body · 5
I believe that every
creature
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 deserves to live a safe and healthy life without being under any kind of conditions.
Body · 6
I purposely use vegan
products
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, because companies don't
prouduce
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produce
 these
products
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a
Change preposition
in a
show examples
harmful way ,rather. They made
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 own chemical tests without affecting any
creature
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 by using very safe methods.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
. It is not
nesecery
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necessary
 for companies to use any method that could damage any creatures,
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
instead,
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 they should have commercials on how gentle they are in creating
thier
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their
products
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 without harming any
creature
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 that would earn them respect plus money.

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coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clear structure in the essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, and transitions between paragraphs should be smooth.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction needs to clearly outline the two opposing views and your own stance. Additionally, the conclusion should summarize your main points effectively.
task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are fully developed with relevant examples and explanations. For instance, provide specific examples or studies that support your points of view.
task achievement
Try to express your ideas in a more comprehensive manner. Avoid vague statements and provide clear, detailed explanations.
coherence cohesion
Revise your essay for grammar and vocabulary to avoid minor errors that can disrupt the flow of your writing. This will make your arguments more convincing and easy to follow.
task achievement
Your strong stance against animal testing is clear and shows your commitment to the topic, which adds passion to your writing.
task achievement
You have included personal practices, such as using vegan products, which makes your argument more relatable and authentic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Animal testing
  • Ethical concerns
  • Medical advancements
  • Safety assessment
  • Vaccines
  • Antibiotics
  • Physiological similarities
  • Cruelty-free alternatives
  • In vitro testing
  • Computer modeling
  • Synthetic human tissue
  • Sentient beings
  • Potential toxicity
  • Alternative methods
  • Humane and cost-effective
  • Research institutions
  • Reliability
  • Ethical considerations
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