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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In the advertising, businesses nowadaways usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you thinkn it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #nowadaways #emphasise #products #thinkn #development
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In the contemporary era, advertisements play a key role in business.
Therefore
, numerous companies use advertising to highlight that their
products
 are cutting-edge.
This
 essay will outline the root causes of
this
 trend, and I believe that
this
 phenomenon brings significant benefits. There are several reasons why large companies tend to emphasise that their
products
 are state-of-the-art.
First,
producing an advanced item is not simple; it demands a high level of technique, skill, and a large budget.
For example
, Apple showcases their cutting-edge
products
 every year, demonstrating not only their unmatched ability and financial resources but
also
 symbolising their utmost status in the technological field.
This
 undoubtedly raises their company profile and appeals to customers to purchase their latest offerings, thereby increasing sales numbers. Another reason is that in modern society, people prefer to buy the newest
products
, which gives them a sense of satisfaction and fuels
this
 trend. I believe
this
 emphasis on newness can contribute to numerous advantages. The advancement of
products
 offers people better user experiences,
such
 as new functions, fancy colours, and special editions. It enhances the standard of living and provides a wider range of options for consumers.
However
, it is undeniable that
while
 excessively focusing on newness can lead to a culture of disposability and consumerism,
this
, in turn, indeed provides people with opportunities to be exposed to a diverse range of
products
, explore their horizons, and gain new information. For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that the emphasis on newness in advertising can drive progress and consumer interest. Innovations often lead to improved
products
 and services, which enhance customer satisfaction and loyalty,
as well as
 increase the company's sales, benefiting both sides.
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coherence cohesion
Consider adding explicit topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to enhance clarity and ensure each point directly relates to the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a consistent use of linkers and transitional phrases to ensure smoother flow between ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Ensure all points within your paragraphs are well-supported with examples or evidence to increase the depth of your argument.
task achievement
You have clearly addressed both parts of the question, discussing reasons for the trend and your perspective on its impact, leading to a comprehensive task response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You've used relevant and specific examples, such as the mention of Apple, to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Novelty
  • Unique selling proposition
  • Early adopters
  • Continuous improvement
  • Perception
  • Saturated market
  • Fear of missing out (FOMO)
  • Innovation-driven
  • Tech-savvy
  • Initial sales figures
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