IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years, online shopping has become increasingly popular, leading to concerns that traditional brick-and-mortar shops will eventually disappear from towns and cities.
While
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 it is true that online shopping has many advantages and will be more prevalent in the future, I do not believe that it will lead to the extinction of physical stores. One reason why I disagree with
this
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 idea is that many people still prefer to shop in
person
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, and
this
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 trend will continue in the future.
For instance
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, some individuals may want to try on clothes or see products in
person
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 before purchasing them.
Moreover
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, shopping can
also
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 be a social activity, allowing people to spend time with friends or family
while
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 browsing the aisles of a store.
While
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 online shopping may be convenient, it cannot provide the same kind of experience as shopping in
person
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.
Furthermore
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, there are some goods and
services
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 that simply cannot be provided online.
For example
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, certain types of food, like fresh produce, are best bought in
person
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 to ensure quality and freshness.
Additionally
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, some
services
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, like haircuts or medical treatments, require physical presence and cannot be completed online. As
such
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, there will always be a need for physical stores to provide these goods and
services
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. In conclusion,
while
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 online shopping has become increasingly popular in recent years, I do not believe that it will lead to the closure of all traditional stores all over the country. There will always be a demand for physical shopping experiences,
as well as
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 for goods and
services
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 that cannot be provided online.

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Task Achievement
To improve your score in the Task Achievement criterion, endeavour to answer the question directly and fully. Make sure to cover all parts of the task, offer a clear opinion, and substantiate your arguments with more diverse and detailed examples from a wide range of sources.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, work on logically organizing your ideas into paragraphs. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and smoothly link to the next, using cohesive devices effectively. Moreover, strive to enhance the linkage between your introduction and conclusion for a more cohesive overall argument.
General Advice
Elevate your essay by expanding on relevant examples. Providing specific examples from real-life experiences or citing data can make your argument more persuasive. Remember to integrate these examples naturally into your essay to support your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • physical stores
  • online retailers
  • retail apocalypse
  • digital economy
  • consumer behavior
  • sustainability
  • commercial landscape
  • high-street
  • consumer trends
  • augmented reality
  • showrooms
  • carbon footprint
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