People who read for pleasure in their free time have a better imagination than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #pleasure #time #imagination #tv

In recent years, the topic of whether watching television or reading

books

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

more effective implications on stimulating human minds has become a focal point of public attention, spreading to diverse debates, discussions, and

contrast

Replace the word

contrasting

show examples

perspectives.

While

this

topic may seem sophisticated and multifaceted, I firmly subscribe to the view that consuming

books

has immense impacts on the progress of imagination.

This

essay

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

delve into my viewpoint and provide a clear analysis associated with

this

topic.

Initially

, it would not be an overstatement to announce that watching

fosters viewers’ creative cognition since

this

platform provides a wide range of vibrant and motion images. Thereby, consuming programs on

permits people to boost their creativity

through

Change preposition

show examples

comprehending the

content

with

colorful

Change the spelling

colourful

show examples

illustrations.

However

, watching

confines the development of

human’s

Change noun form

human

show examples

cognition as it restricts the way people

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

conceive the

content

and images in their

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

TV’s

Change noun form

show examples

consumers could merely form their own thinking and only follow what is utterly present on the

As a result

this

action hinders the process of developing imagination, especially in children. Apart from the reasons mentioned above, opponents of

this

view may argue the following.

Firstly

, there is no escaping

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the fact that reading

books

and stories enables readers to form images and information contained in the reading sources through the action of transferring sentences to illustrations.

Therefore

, enjoying reading accelerates their creativity and thinking abilities.

Secondly

Correct article usage

the contents

show examples

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

which are presented on

normally

Add a missing verb

are normally

show examples

not as diverse as

books

due to

the lack of

production

Correct article usage

a production

show examples

budget. Thereby, the

content

books

provides a wider range of useful

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

, which could enrich the process of developing creative thinking. In conclusion, for the reasons I have mentioned above, I strongly believe that the action of consuming

content

through reading is more effective than through watching

Submitted by anhnguyen270407 on Sun Jun 02 2024

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task achievement

While your essay is well-structured and offers a complete response to the prompt, including more specific examples and evidence would make your argument stronger and more convincing. For instance, mentioning specific studies or expert opinions could add weight to your argument.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is logically structured and includes clear paragraphs, which is excellent. To improve it further, consider using a wider variety of cohesive devices to ensure a smoother flow between your ideas and paragraphs. This would enhance the overall readability and coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that every paragraph develops a single main idea, clearly and comprehensively. More explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph could help in making your essay even clearer and easier to follow.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction is clear and effectively sets up your argument, while your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points.

logical structure

Your essay maintains a logical structure with well-developed paragraphs. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, contributing to overall coherence.

clear comprehensive ideas

You provide clear and comprehensive ideas, which are relevant to the topic. This demonstrates a deep understanding of the subject matter.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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People who read for pleasure in their free time have a better imagination than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

According to those in the travel business, the nature of the average 'holiday' is changing. Rather than seeking a relaxing break in a far-away place, people now want exitement on their holidays and are keen to participate in unusual and challenging activities. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe the Internet is the most important invention in modern history. Do you agree or disagree?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?