People who read for pleasure in their free time have a better imagination than those who prefer to watch TV. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the topic of whether watching television or reading
books
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
more effective implications on stimulating human minds has become a focal point of public attention, spreading to diverse debates, discussions, and
contrast
Replace the word
contrasting
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perspectives.
While
this
topic may seem sophisticated and multifaceted, I firmly subscribe to the view that consuming
books
has immense impacts on the progress of imagination.
This
essay
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
delve into my viewpoint and provide a clear analysis associated with
this
topic.
Initially
, it would not be an overstatement to announce that watching
TV
fosters viewers’ creative cognition since
this
platform provides a wide range of vibrant and motion images. Thereby, consuming programs on
TV
permits people to boost their creativity
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
comprehending the
content
with
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
show examples
illustrations.
However
, watching
TV
confines the development of
human’s
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human
show examples
cognition as it restricts the way people
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
conceive the
content
and images in their
mind
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minds
show examples
.
TV’s
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TV
show examples
consumers could merely form their own thinking and only follow what is utterly present on the
TV
.
As a result
,
this
action hinders the process of developing imagination, especially in children. Apart from the reasons mentioned above, opponents of
this
view may argue the following.
Firstly
, there is no escaping
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that reading
books
and stories enables readers to form images and information contained in the reading sources through the action of transferring sentences to illustrations.
Therefore
, enjoying reading accelerates their creativity and thinking abilities.
Secondly
,
Correct article usage
the contents
show examples
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
which are presented on
TV
normally
Add a missing verb
are normally
show examples
not as diverse as
books
due to
the lack of
production
Correct article usage
a production
show examples
budget. Thereby, the
content
of
books
provides a wider range of useful
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
, which could enrich the process of developing creative thinking. In conclusion, for the reasons I have mentioned above, I strongly believe that the action of consuming
content
through reading is more effective than through watching
TV
.
Submitted by anhnguyen270407 on

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task achievement
While your essay is well-structured and offers a complete response to the prompt, including more specific examples and evidence would make your argument stronger and more convincing. For instance, mentioning specific studies or expert opinions could add weight to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured and includes clear paragraphs, which is excellent. To improve it further, consider using a wider variety of cohesive devices to ensure a smoother flow between your ideas and paragraphs. This would enhance the overall readability and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph develops a single main idea, clearly and comprehensively. More explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph could help in making your essay even clearer and easier to follow.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and effectively sets up your argument, while your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points.
logical structure
Your essay maintains a logical structure with well-developed paragraphs. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, contributing to overall coherence.
clear comprehensive ideas
You provide clear and comprehensive ideas, which are relevant to the topic. This demonstrates a deep understanding of the subject matter.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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