There is no doubt that globalisation has benefited the world by bringing together people, business and nations. People who criticise it stand in the way of progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
The borderless world has emerged because of
globalization
. It constantly sets aside the restriction of many aspects, connects people all around the world, and makes international trade possible. Some believe that globalization
is beneficial for each country and those who criticize it prevent it from developing. I disagree with that notion because critics are needed in terms of improvement and will not directly have negative influences on its progress.
Firstly
, if someone criticizes globalization
, it means she knows which part of it that needs to be reformed. For example
, the rapid growth of globalization
makes information widely accessible to everyone, including kids. Thus
, sometimes there is no internet restriction for them so that
they can surf Correct word choice
apply
through
the internet freely. Change preposition
apply
As a result
, they might access some content that is
not appropriate for their ages. If there is no one who speaks up about this
problem, parents might be unaware of their kids' situation and will not provide strict supervision.
Furthermore
, I believe that there are only a few people who criticize globalization
. Of course, this
will not have a significant impact on its progress. For instance
, communities who disregard globalization
do not have intentions to offend certain institutions, such
as multinational companies which usually believe to threaten the existence of local businesses. Instead
of doing so, they choose to offer win-win solutions for both sides. So, they actually support globalization
in their own ways.
In conclusion, people who criticize globalization
do not always have negative thoughts. Meanwhile, they provide some insights that should be considered in order to improve the quality of globalization
.Submitted by srsdy008 on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the question and addresses both benefits of globalization and the importance of criticism. However, ensure that every idea is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a logical progression of ideas. However, make sure your paragraphs are smoothly connected. Transitional phrases and better linking words between sentences can improve the flow.
logical structure
Ensure that every paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that encapsulates the main idea of the paragraph. This will enhance clarity and coherence.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear, concise, and effectively sets the stage for the arguments that follow. You clearly articulate your stance on the topic, which gives the reader a good understanding of your viewpoint from the outset.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of your essay and reiterates your stance, providing a strong ending to your response.
relevant specific examples
You provide relevant examples that enhance your arguments, making them more persuasive.
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