Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.

People in the world will have a different process of life. Some of them think that it is best to endure
such
circumstances rather than try to improve them.
While
I understand the opinion of those people, I personally believe that it is best to strive for better situations for some reasons that are set out below. When negative things happen in life, people seem to lose hope. One concrete piece of evidence is the fact that they always make an excuse when things are going south,
thus
they often correlate it to mental health issues.
For instance
, when they experience something unsatisfactory in their job,
instead
of having a mindset to work even harder or find a solution, they are more likely to go on a vacation, saying that they need a short escape from all the stress and pressure that they are getting from their job.
On the contrary
, some communities argue that trying to improve in
such
situations is better than being hopeless. They say that mental health is often the black sheep for individuals who do not want to work or try harder.
For example
, when someone is short in cash
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if they have a mindset of a fighter, they will search for part-time jobs to get some extra cash.
In contrast
, those who are lazy will choose to go on vacation, saying that it is for their happiness. Ultimately, I will suggest individuals
to
Remove the particle
apply
show examples
work harder and not give up when things do not go well. Yet, having a mindset of a fighter will surely make them tougher and stronger rather than blaming everything on mental issues.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Include a balanced view of both sides. Acknowledging the arguments of the opposing viewpoint will further enhance the strength and objectivity of your perspective.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you explicitly state your position in the conclusion to provide a clear ending to your discussion.
task achievement
Your essay covers the topic effectively, addressing both sides of the argument and providing a clear opinion. It demonstrates a good understanding of the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with an introduction, body paragraphs providing viewpoints and reasoning, and a conclusion reinforcing your stance.
coherence cohesion
Logical explanations were provided to support your main points, making your argument convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
Look at other essays: