Some individuals prefer temporary employment, which allows them to work only a few months each year and dedicate the remaining time to pursuing their interests. Others think longer employment is better. What is your opinion?

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In recent years, some people have preferred short-term employment to
work
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less and spend more time on their hobbies or interests.
On the other hand
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, there are people who want to
work
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in a stable environment. In my opinion, I'd like to
work
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in a stable workplace for two reasons.
Firstly
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, if you
work
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for a short-term employment, it might give you more diversity in your experiences. But it wouldn'
t
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make deep understanding in your field. Temporary employment means you don'
t
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have enough time to absorb the knowledge. From my experiences, I used to do a lot of things all at once. I studied History, Musical instruments and Science, etc.
This
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gave me various experiences but I couldn'
t
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make them precisely or accurately. And
secondly
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, you can still pursue your personal interests
while
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you
work
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. There are thousands of jobs out here. If you want to make your own fashion brand, you can
work
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in the fashion industry and look for some pieces of advice or tips for your future business. Of course, you can focus more on your interests when you don'
t
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work
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. But there's a huge gap between professional advice and personal research. Once, I had to
work
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on a presentation and I did some research for it, but I couldn'
t
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find any information about it. So, I called my father, who is in the insurance field for some data about the subject. Thanks to that, I could finish my report. To summarise, working in
short
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the short
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term isn'
t
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good in my opinion for two reasons.
Firstly
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, you can find what you want to do
while
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you
work
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and
moreover
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, you can get information from current workers. And
secondly
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, you can'
t
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get deeper knowledge when you
work
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temporarily.
Submitted by ihjung2000 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and concise main idea, followed by supporting sentences that develop this idea further. This will enhance the essay's coherence.
language use
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate language proficiency and to make the essay more engaging.
task achievement
While your examples are relevant, consider providing a wider range of examples to support your arguments more thoroughly.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your opinion and provided reasons for your preference for stable long-term employment.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are both present, making the essay well-rounded.
task achievement
Examples from personal experiences make your arguments relatable and vivid.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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