IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #news #internet #newspapers #source
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
internet
 has begun to become a rival to traditional outlets as a
source
 of
news
. In my opinion,
this
 trend will continue, and the
Internet
 will soon become as important as traditional
media
. On the one hand, I believe that
newspapers
 will still be a vital
source
 of
news
 even in the
Internet
 age.
Firstly
, print
media
 is the most traditional means of communicating
news
, and not everyone is able and willing to use the
Internet
.
For instance
, elderly individuals or people living in rural areas might lack the ability or opportunity to browse the
Internet
, and even though many of us have access to the
Internet
, we still prefer reading
newspapers
.
Secondly
, traditional
newspapers
 can be trusted as a trustworthy
source
 of
news
, because they hire professional journalists and editors.
Finally
, many people like the experience of holding and reading
newspapers
, rather than reading from a screen.
However
, online
media
 could become as popular as
newspapers
due to
 various reasons. The main reason is that it can give us access to
news
 more quickly and instantly, no matter where we are and what gadgets or mobile devices we hold. Another advantage of online
news
 compared to
newspapers
 is that we can share the
news
 articles, discuss with others and even update on social
media
 by ourselves.
For example
, the amount of users of platforms
such
 as Twitter and YouTube abrupt, where everyone can share their
news
 and opinions. The
last
 advantage is that
this
 kind of
source
 of
news
 has a less bad impact on the environment. In conclusion, I disagree with the view that paper will still remain to be the main
source
 of
news
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because I believe that the
Internet
 will soon be of the same importance.
Submitted by dawn140140140140 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Try to provide more specific examples to strengthen your argument. This will make your points more convincing and relatable.
clear comprehensive ideas
Enhance the clarity of your ideas by ensuring each supporting point is fully developed. Avoid general statements and add more depth to your arguments.
logical structure
Work on connecting your points more smoothly. Use more linking words and transitional phrases to create better flow and cohesion between paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, making it well-structured.
complete response
The response effectively addresses the prompt and stays on topic throughout the essay.
clear comprehensive ideas
The main ideas are clear and presented in a logical manner, which makes the essay easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliable
  • credible
  • focused
  • immersive
  • tangibility
  • tradition
  • access
  • digital devices
  • demographics
  • older generation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: