Some people think that Olympic games are exciting event that brings other nations together. Others say Olympics expensive waste of money that would be better spent on other things. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.

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It is believed by a figure
of
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apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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that organizing universal sporting
events
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such
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as The Olympic sports is an exhilarating activity and
also
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leads to cooperation and peace among
countries
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
While
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there are others who opine that The Olympic sport is a wasteful activity.
This
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essay will discuss both views and support the argument that
such
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global
games
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must be planned
due to
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the fact of their beneficial impact, followed by a reasoned conclusion.
It is clear that
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international
games
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help to attract a number of states which result in significant improvements in the relationships of
countries
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. It has had a great reputation among all
countries
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long time.
For example
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, the Greeks and other
countries
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in 800
B.
Correct your spelling
C.

The word B. doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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C. didn't fight each other during The Olympic sport and they cooperated and organized it together.
Moreover
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, another benefit of holding intercontinental
games
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is that several foreign tourists come to see and support their team which results in a foreign currency inflow
This
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is to say, when
such
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multi-national
games
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are organized by the host
country
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invites a number of foreign tourists from all over the world which in turn brings in foreign currency that helps to boost the economy of the
country
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
However
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, certain people believe that the organization of multi-national
events
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

leads to the wastage of the financial resources of the
country
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
In other words
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, a nation ought to spend huge sums of funds on the construction and development of infrastructures for these
events
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
That is
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money allocated to constructing roads, hotels for foreign tourists, construction of the stadium and
consequently
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on. To elucidate, a recent study conducted by the government found that more than millions of funds are wasted in organizing global holidays.
As a consequence
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, it puts the company under financial burden and distress
consequently
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it seems to be better for spending on other things
such
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as improving poverty, education and environmental issues.
To conclude
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
while
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

a number of people believe that universal
events
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are beneficial, others opine that it is a waste of money.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, In my opinion, I vehemently agree that the organization of multi-national
events
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

helps in the development of relationships between
countries
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and the finances of a
country
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

by bringing in more different funds.

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task achievement
The response covers both points of view and provides a personal stance, but there are areas for improvement. Ensure that each main point is clearly supported with specific examples and detailed explanation.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed and varied examples to illustrate your points, which can make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a clear structure, some areas can be refined for better clarity and flow. Make sure every paragraph transitions smoothly and logically from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the introduction clearly sets up the argument, and the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of both perspectives of the topic and adequately addresses them.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively reaffirmed the writer's opinion and summarized the argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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