Write about the following topic: Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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Music

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is often called a universal language, bridging gaps between cultures and generations. It serves as a powerful tool to unite people, and its influence can be observed in various aspects of life.

Firstly

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, musical concerts and festivals demonstrate

music

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's ability to unite people from diverse backgrounds through a shared passion. Events like Tomorrowland in Belgium and Coachella in the USA attract global audiences, fostering a sense of community among attendees regardless of age, race, or other differences.

Additionally

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music

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serves as a medium for cultural exchange.

For instance

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, the rising popularity of K-pop has introduced many to Korean culture.

Secondly

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music

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bridges generational gaps e effectively. In healthcare,

music

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therapy assists elderly patients in reconnecting with their memories and emotions. Intergenerational

music

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projects, where young and old create

music

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together, foster mutual understanding and reduce generational divides.

Furthermore

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, technology has made

music

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more accessible worldwide, enhancing its unifying power. Platforms like YouTube and Spotify enable people to explore diverse

music

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genres globally. Social media

also

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plays a crucial role in sharing favourite songs, thereby building a global community. In conclusion,

music

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possesses the remarkable ability to unite individuals across cultures and generations. Through festivals, cultural exchange, therapeutic practices, and technological advancements,

music

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fosters connections, understanding, and unity. Its universal appeal makes it an effective unifying force for humanity.

Submitted by catalinamaria.n on Sun Jun 02 2024

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task achievement

Your essay would benefit from a slightly more elaborate introduction and conclusion. While you've done well to introduce the topic and provide a summary at the end, adding a sentence that clearly states your stance in the introduction and a concluding remark that reinforces your message would enhance clarity.

coherence cohesion

Transitions between ideas are generally smooth, but additional linking words could further improve the flow. For instance, phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' or 'Furthermore' can make your argument more cohesive.

task achievement

You have provided relevant and specific examples, such as references to Tomorrowland, Coachella, and K-pop, which effectively support your main points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay follows a clear and logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion successfully reinforces the main points made in the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

219 words

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Your opinion

The process gives information about how carbonated water is made.

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified.

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays​ ​than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Environment pollution is too alarming to be managed by individuals. Real change can be made at the government level. What extent do you agree or disagree?

nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualification are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. why is it the case? what extend do you agree or diagree with this new?

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?