In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Presently, the number of
people
who live longer than past is increasing. some people
believe that it is an issue for the government
, while
others say that elderly humans are more beneficial for society. In my opinion, the advantages are extremely more, and this
essay will argue that these people
can increase the tax for younger people
and could enhance emigration through a country. it is argued that, when people
live for a long time, they cannot work as much as past. In order that, they have to be retired because they cannot work anymore. these retired person
should be given a salary from the Change the determiner
this retired person
these retired people
government
, and for solving
these problems, the Change preposition
to solve
government
should give more tax
to younger Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
people
. As a result
, it could suffer the younger folk. Additionally
, in any huge country, we have some problems finding houses, and one of the most important issues is population. If the population increased regularly, it would be more difficult to find a home. when folk are not able to find a home easily, they tend to go abroad. consequently
, the younger employees are reduced in society, and it can be a bigger trouble for the government
. for example
, in Germany, many residents are old, and younger people
do not tend to have babies, and the reason
for that is
they cannot find the
house for their family. It could be a Correct article usage
a
reason
that they want to emigrate. Despite the above reason
, Add an article
the elder
elder
crowd have more experience in life and work, and it could be beneficial for humans. Correct your spelling
older
Nevertheless
, increasing elder residents could be the biggest problem for the government
.
In conclusion, the advantages of elderly
community in the country are less than the drawbacks. Not only do they increase taxes, but Add an article
the elderly
also
they make
problems finding Verb problem
have
the
house. Correct article usage
a
As a result
, it could be the biggest reason
for the emigration of younger people
.Submitted by pooya.olad on
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coherence cohesion
Try to clearly separate the introduction from the main body of the essay. A good introduction should present the topic and state the main argument of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph presents a single main point and that this point is fully developed with examples and reasons.
task achievement
Avoid overgeneralization. Try to use a balance of statements and evidence to make your argument more convincing.
task achievement
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to make your essay more engaging.
task achievement
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammar and punctuation errors. Small mistakes can distract the reader from your main arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The writer presents both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
task achievement
Some relevant examples are given, such as the example of Germany, which supports the argument being made.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion