In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #population #governments #society

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Presently, the number of

people

Use synonyms

who live longer than past is increasing. some

people

Use synonyms

believe that it is an issue for the

government

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

others say that elderly humans are more beneficial for society. In my opinion, the advantages are extremely more, and

this

Linking Words

essay will argue that these

people

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can increase the tax for younger

people

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and could enhance emigration through a country. it is argued that, when

people

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live for a long time, they cannot work as much as past. In order that, they have to be retired because they cannot work anymore.

these retired person

Change the determiner

this retired person

these retired people

show examples

should be given a salary from the

government

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, and

for solving

Change preposition

to solve

show examples

these problems, the

government

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should give more

tax

Fix the agreement mistake

taxes

show examples

to younger

people

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As a result

Linking Words

, it could suffer the younger folk.

Additionally

Linking Words

, in any huge country, we have some problems finding houses, and one of the most important issues is population. If the population increased regularly, it would be more difficult to find a home. when folk are not able to find a home easily, they tend to go abroad.

consequently

Linking Words

, the younger employees are reduced in society, and it can be a bigger trouble for the

government

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for example

Linking Words

, in Germany, many residents are old, and younger

people

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do not tend to have babies, and the

reason

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for

that is

Linking Words

they cannot find

the

Correct article usage

show examples

house for their family. It could be a

reason

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that they want to emigrate. Despite the above

reason

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Add an article

the elder

show examples

elder

Correct your spelling

older

show examples

crowd have more experience in life and work, and it could be beneficial for humans.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, increasing elder residents could be the biggest problem for the

government

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. In conclusion, the advantages of

elderly

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the elderly

show examples

community in the country are less than the drawbacks. Not only do they increase taxes, but

also

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they

make

Verb problem

have

show examples

problems finding

the

Correct article usage

show examples

house.

As a result

Linking Words

, it could be the biggest

reason

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for the emigration of younger

people

Use synonyms

Submitted by pooya.olad on Sun Jun 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to clearly separate the introduction from the main body of the essay. A good introduction should present the topic and state the main argument of the essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph presents a single main point and that this point is fully developed with examples and reasons.

task achievement

Avoid overgeneralization. Try to use a balance of statements and evidence to make your argument more convincing.

task achievement

Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to make your essay more engaging.

task achievement

Make sure to proofread your essay for grammar and punctuation errors. Small mistakes can distract the reader from your main arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear overall structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

The writer presents both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

task achievement

Some relevant examples are given, such as the example of Germany, which supports the argument being made.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

313 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ageing population
benefits
disadvantages
advantages
experience
knowledge
contribution
economy
society
healthcare
youth employment
community
intergenerational support
volunteerism
mentorship
increased demand
pension costs
social welfare systems
workforce
productivity
intergenerational conflict
technological adaptability
dependency
effective
skill development
employment opportunities
intergenerational solidarity
communication
lifelong learning
technological literacy
age-friendly
social policies
infrastructure

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Some people argue that keeping pets is beneficial for longevity while others believe that household animals are not healthy for people to have as companions. Discuss both sides of the argument and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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