In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed their education and found jobs. Do the advatages outweigh the disadvantages

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In an ever-progressive society, there is an emergence of young adults who have had a stable occupation and decided to nest with their families.
This
writer assumes that the lack of independence
as well as
the privacy concerns predominate over the adversity of financial benefits. The most disadvantageous factor of living
together with
parents is that it can limit the ability to manage these individuals’ lives. To put it simply, these guardians have an enormous responsibility to well-adopted their offspring, so they tend to overcontrol their children even when they are mature so as to ensure discipline.
As a consequence
, these young people will gradually lose their instinct which they have already had as they are not willing to confront the obstacles without their caretakers, contributing to the long-term dependence on the caregivers. Another drawback of sharing a living space with adopters is the capability of privacy invasion. It should be noted that the bulk of young adults are primarily in their love relationships and it will be challenging for them to develop romantic with the surveillance of guardians.
Furthermore
, there is a huge discrepancy between two separate people who were born in two different eras, contributing to their distinct lifestyles
along with
daily routines. As a negative result, conflict in a family is inevitable since neither sympathy nor similarities are found in a conversation.
Nevertheless
, a minority of civilians claim that residing with their parents is a wise choice on the grounds of saving finance. With that said, the more houses are erected, the more cost of living with bills are paid.
This
may be true in some cases, yet the economy is constantly growing, simultaneously, reinforcing the residents’ average income, and creating opportunities for them to address the expense of living without any assistance from their guardians.
Consequently
, not only do caregivers mitigate the anxiety about their children, but
also
do themselves can
also
learn how to manage finances efficiently. Taking all into account, the disadvantages of insufficient independence
along with
privacy invasion overshadow the benefit of saving money.
Additionally
, young adults should have a house for themselves
instead
of being reliant on their parents.
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Your essay addresses the topic well and provides a relatively comprehensive response. However, the examples could be more specific to make your points stronger and more relatable.
coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both well-presented and effectively encapsulate the main points of your essay, providing a strong framework.
task achievement
You provide a solid and complete response to the task. You articulate clear, comprehensive ideas regarding the advantages and disadvantages of living with parents as an adult.

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    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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