In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some beliefs, offspring are given a message that if they want to achieve something they must thrive
as well as
the results they hope. This
essay will outline either the advantages or the disadvantages of that statement.
Firstly
, the positive thing that can be received from that message is more young humans become diligent in learning something. For instance
, in their school, they will excited to get a new topic since they know the world is not rounds around them. Instead
of being lazy, they prefer to choose to study is means they also
learn to take responsibility for their life. It is also
proven by scientific research which states that humans need an outside shove such
as motivation to make their changes to an improvement.
Secondly
, the drawback of that statement is there is an outside thing we cannot predict when want to reach something or we can call that out of human control. When kids receive that message typically to gain something you must sacrifice everything, thus
they forget to release the things unprecedented in our lives. Finally
, at the end
of the day likelihood, there are some cases of suicide. For instance
, some countries mostly Asia notorious for that culture, which is no pain no gain since that many suicide cases, particularly in South Korea. Furthermore
, the fierce human standard lives there is too high.
To conclude
, giving an idea to offspring is essential but to balance both inside and outside things that will happen in human life is also
important. From the previous statement, particularly the second paragraph, parents must consider their child to manage emotional intelligence to encounter uncertain things in life in the future.Submitted by damayanti.nsd on
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introduction conclusion present
Work on refining your introduction and conclusion to clearly present your essay's stance and summarise its main points more effectively.
logical structure
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supported main points
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complete response
Ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed with balanced discussion on both the advantages and disadvantages.
clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
Incorporate more varied and specific examples to substantiate your arguments and make them more convincing to the reader.
balanced view
Your essay provides a balanced view on the topic, considering both positives and negatives.
creativity and insight
You creatively engage with the topic, demonstrating understanding and insight.
effort to connect ideas
The essay shows an effort to connect ideas and examples to the main argument, an important aspect of task achievement.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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