In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In some beliefs, offspring are given a message that if they want to achieve something they must thrive
as well as
the results they hope. Linking Words
This
essay will outline either the advantages or the disadvantages of that statement.
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Firstly
, the positive thing that can be received from that message is more young humans become diligent in learning something. Linking Words
For instance
, in their school, they will excited to get a new topic since they know the world is not rounds around them. Linking Words
Instead
of being lazy, they prefer to choose to study is means they Linking Words
also
learn to take responsibility for their life. It is Linking Words
also
proven by scientific research which states that humans need an outside shove Linking Words
such
as motivation to make their changes to an improvement.
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Secondly
, the drawback of that statement is there is an outside thing we cannot predict when want to reach something or we can call that out of human control. When kids receive that message typically to gain something you must sacrifice everything, Linking Words
thus
they forget to release the things unprecedented in our lives. Linking Words
Finally
, Linking Words
at the end
of the day likelihood, there are some cases of suicide. Linking Words
For instance
, some countries mostly Asia notorious for that culture, which is no pain no gain since that many suicide cases, particularly in South Korea. Linking Words
Furthermore
, the fierce human standard lives there is too high.
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To conclude
, giving an idea to offspring is essential but to balance both inside and outside things that will happen in human life is Linking Words
also
important. From the previous statement, particularly the second paragraph, parents must consider their child to manage emotional intelligence to encounter uncertain things in life in the future.Linking Words
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introduction conclusion present
Work on refining your introduction and conclusion to clearly present your essay's stance and summarise its main points more effectively.
logical structure
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supported main points
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complete response
Ensure all parts of the prompt are fully addressed with balanced discussion on both the advantages and disadvantages.
clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
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balanced view
Your essay provides a balanced view on the topic, considering both positives and negatives.
creativity and insight
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effort to connect ideas
The essay shows an effort to connect ideas and examples to the main argument, an important aspect of task achievement.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...