Children's education is expensive. In some countries, the government pays some or all of the costs. Do the edvantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, it is very expensive to educate
children
. Meanwhile, in some countries, the government
pays part or all of the costs. However
, there are obvious advantages to paying the costs,but I feel that the disadvantages are enormous.
There are several advantages to paying tuition fees by the government
. First of all, students
from all financial backgrounds may have equal access to education
. It is because the government
pays the tuition, that scholars in some rural areas may pay a few costs to go to school. In addition
, parents are relieved from the burden of paying for their children
's education
. As a result
, parents are not worried about tuition fees and they can concentrate on earning money
and taking care of their children
.
However
, despite these benefits, I believe that there are more problems for the government
to pay for children
's education
. To my mind, citizens have to pay more tax money
so that the government
would have an extra budget for education
. Although
it is good for children
, some people have low salaries and they can not pay a lot of tax money
. Moreover
, some students
may take education
for granted, not something they must pay to receive, and do not try to achieve good academic results. For example
, in Vietnam, the government
pays for children
's education
so many students
do not appreciate their learning. According to
experts, if too many students
go to school at the same time, the education
system will be overloaded. In fact, the education
system does not have enough human resources to teach children
. Consequently
, children
can be poorly educated leading to missing children
's talents.
In conclusion, children
may have equal access to education
and parents are relieved from the burden of paying for children
's education
, but in my view, not only do citizens have to pay more tax money
but also
children
do not value learning and the education
system will be overloaded. Therefore
, on balance, the drawback of the government
paying for children
's education
outweighs the advantages.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, providing a clear opinion and discussing both advantages and disadvantages. However, some of the arguments could be developed further with more detailed examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Transitions between ideas are present but could be smoother to improve the overall flow. Consider using more linking words and phrases to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Introduce more specific examples or evidence to support your points more convincingly. This will help in making your arguments stronger and more credible.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has one clear main idea, and expand on that idea thoroughly before moving to the next point. This will improve the clarity and depth of your discussion.
task achievement
Work on varying your sentence structures and using more complex vocabulary accurately. This will enhance the sophistication of your writing and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction that outlines the issue and states the writer's opinion.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the writer's opinion.
logical structure
The essay discusses both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view before concluding with a clear stance.
logical structure
The use of specific phrases such as "students from all financial backgrounds" and "relieved from the burden" help to articulate the points effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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