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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that advertising is a positive part of our lives. Others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, many companies advertise their
products
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 on digital platforms,
such
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 as Facebook, Instagram, television, and other social media.
While
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 some
people
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 argue that it is a beneficial thing in our lives, others believe that it has some drawbacks.
This
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 essay will demonstrate two perspectives on
this
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 phenomenon.
To begin
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 with, looking at
advertisements
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 of the
products
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 can be helpful to us before deciding to buy something.
For example
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, when
people
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 buy a car, they tend to look at the promotion of the car to compare its type, features, and price with those of other
products
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. If they order the
products
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 without surveying them, they may get scammed and tend to overpay.
Additionally
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, the promotion can be a good way to inform the public about new developments in technology and introduce the newest technology that can support our daily needs.
Furthermore
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,
although
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advertisements
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 are a common phenomenon that
people
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 can encounter everywhere,
this
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 trend can have a lasting impact on us, particularly in terms of our habits and attitudes, in the long term.
People
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 tend to be more consumptive when buying cars, luxury bags, and clothes because
advertisements
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 indirectly affect their emotions, leading to a purchase.
Moreover
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, the advertisement forms a trend, and if that trend is not followed, individuals do not feel part of society.
For example
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,
People
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 using luxury brands consider themselves rich, even if they must be in debt. In conclusion,
besides
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 the positive effects of ads in our day-to-day lives, some drawbacks can affect our behaviour. In my opinion,
advertisements
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 are necessary for society as long as individuals can prevent compulsive shopping behaviour.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to guide the reader. This will help improve the logical flow of your ideas.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure to link your ideas more directly to the main question about the positive and negative effects of advertising. This will improve your task response.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument clearly and effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your opinion while acknowledging both sides of the discussion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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