Healthcare costs are increasing, and many governments are finding it difficult to balance their healthcare budget. Should citizens be responsible for their health with private health insurance, or should the government provide free healthcare for all? Discuss your viewpoint on this issue.
Nowadays,
healthcare
are being
so costly and most governments have problems Wrong verb form
is
with
managing the budget of Change preposition
apply
this
sector. People
have different views about whether the responsibility for healthcare
expenses should be with governments or individuals. While
some people
argue that residents should pay for their well-being costs by their private health insurance
, I personally agree with those who believe that free healthcare
must be provided for all by the government.
It is true that healthcare
expenses are growing and the government’s budget can not afford it, so each person should be responsible for his or her expenditure. To begin
with, there are several insurance
companies which offer various types of insurance
according to
a person’s financial. The majority of people
who have an occupation could easily register for private insurance
at a reasonable price. These insurances are acceptable in the majority of hospitals and clinics in order to support the patients. Besides
, the government should invest more in the education system instead
of wasting the nation’s money on treating people
. The young generation most benefit from modern and professional schools and universities, and they might become future doctors and engineers. If governments spent a huge sum of money on the healthcare
systems, they would not be able to modernize and develop the educational systems which may have a destructive effect on the country’s future.
However
, I completely agree with those who assume that the healthcare
system must provide free services for all citizens because of the harmful impacts of expensive healthcare
services. Firstly
, if people
can not afford the hospital expenses, they do not refer to specialists in order to cure their sickness. This
trend causes to spread of the disease in society and puts everyone’s health in great danger. As a result
, the majority of the population suffers from hidden and uncured sickness which has a negative impact on the wealth and health of the country. Secondly
, patients prefer to use alternative medication instead
of visiting an expert doctor. Increasing the self-treatment habits of citizens will cause a number of diseases to become unknown and could affect the nation’s genes. This
dangerous phenomenon, which is caused by lots of uncured sicknesses, will have some drawbacks , particularly for the young generation.
In conclusion, although
many people
suppose healthcare
costs must be paid by individuals, I assume the fees should be paid by the governmentSubmitted by Negar_seddigh on
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language inaccuracy
While your ideas are clear and well-expressed, there are some grammatical and lexical inaccuracies. For example, 'being so costly' could be phrased more appropriately as 'becoming increasingly expensive'.
example specificity
Try to elaborate more on specific examples to strengthen your argument. Providing concrete examples can make your points more convincing.
organization
The essay has a clear and logical structure, with a well-defined introduction and conclusion.
supporting points
The main points are supported with relevant arguments, making the essay coherent.
balanced argument
You've done a good job in contrasting the two perspectives and clearly stating your own viewpoint.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example