when asked to choose between a life without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Nowadays, teenagers tend to prefer enjoying their life to finding a job to earn living money.
This
writer totally disagrees with
this
opinion
due to
the high level of elimination and the necessity of stable financial status. There is no doubt that people will be eliminated if they cannot satisfy the high demand of the company or the manager. Obviously, the majority of employees would try to work harder in order to compete with others
as well as
catch up with their colleagues;
as a consequence
, a person who prefers to enjoy their life
instead
of spending time working is not able to gain the expected success. The firms, in
this
era, tend to require great productivity from their workers;
therefore
, if an individual is lazy or ineffective, they will be replaced immediately by another who
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
more potential.
For instance
, if a sales assistant cannot reach the initial aim of the shop, they possibly suffer from the punishment from the manager or even the elimination. Another point for consideration is that working is an indispensable condition to maintain a stable economic status. Apparently, determination will help each individual improve themselves and
also
enhance their performance at the office;
as a result
, they can achieve the respect of their counterparts and even the presidents. For these reasons, there is a better opportunity for promotion and gaining a higher level of salary which can help them avoid being into debt or struggling if there are a number of sudden accidents in their life,
for example
. Indeed, if a person solely wants to play
instead
of working hard, they can just have short-term happiness and usually against numerous difficulties in the future.
Hence
, everyone must try to enhance themselves date-by-date to make a sense of safety
as well as
assurance about finances. In conclusion, a worker cannot gain their expected achievements if they do not try hard daily or are willing to spend most time on entertainment
instead
.
Therefore
, every single person needs to be determined in order to avoid being eliminated and
also
maintain a stable economy.

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task response
Try to include specific examples or evidence to support your points in more detail for a stronger argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear response to the task and addresses both potential reasons people might prefer working hard over enjoying their lives exclusively.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion that summarize the main points.
coherence and cohesion
The main points are generally well-supported and the argument is logical and coherent.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial stability
  • personal interests
  • social isolation
  • structured daily routine
  • sense of purpose
  • achievement
  • boredom
  • overworking
  • burnout
  • hobbies
  • family time
  • work pressures
  • stress
  • health issues
  • social interactions
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