Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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Some adopt the view that

music

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helps connect

people

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of different civilizations and bridge the age gap among

people

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. I completely agree with

this

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point of view for a couple of reasons.

To begin

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with, it is understandable why

music

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can bring humans from other countries together.

Music

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allows all individuals around the world to listen to it. Despite the language barriers, melody can entice the listeners to find out more about the songs. By doing

this

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, they approach other cultures and,

therefore

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, gain more insights into traditions and beliefs.

People

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around the world who idolize the same singers,

for example

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, Taylor Swift, shout out together to support her. Her

music

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can connect an ocean of audiences, no matter what their nationalities are.

Thus

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, the geographical and cultural distance is shortened.

Additionally

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, there is a widely held view among humankind that human beings of all ages bond with each other through

music

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. When they share the same interest in any type of

music

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, they have a predisposition to share a joint verbalization.

Hence

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, they get to know each other. From children to the eldest, they enjoy pop

music

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for instance

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, and

also

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belong to the same fan clubs where they can support their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

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singers.

Also

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, many old-school songs sung by youngsters become timeless,

whereas

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, modern catchy genres

also

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attract the old. Without

music

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, communicating would be challenging among generational gaps. In conclusion, I would side with those who agree that

music

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can connect

people

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from all walks of life,

although

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there

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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still

rooms

Fix the agreement mistake

room

show examples

for disagreement.

Submitted by hongmien.n on Mon Jun 03 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, effectively addressing the notion that music can bridge cultural and age gaps. Continue with such thorough task responses.

task achievement

Ensure you clarify and fully expand on all your ideas. The essay is mostly comprehensive, but some points could be elaborated in more detail.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of your essay is solid. Work on ensuring that your paragraphs flow seamlessly by using a few more transitional phrases and linking words to enhance coherence.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion were well-presented, summarizing the key points neatly. Maintain this strong structure in future essays.

task achievement

Your essay stays on topic and offers a clear, complete response to the question asked.

task achievement

The use of specific examples, such as mentioning Taylor Swift and fan clubs, helps ground your arguments and makes them relatable.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effective, outlining and summarizing your points well.

coherence cohesion

Your ideas within paragraphs are generally well-organized and coherent.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

256 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Write a reply to Sara. In your email, you have to describe Manchester and the weather there, tell her about your part-time job, the family you are staying with, and your activities in the evening, and finally you have to write about your English classes there

Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?