Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjets, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or this disagree?
People have different views on whether compulsory
art
education has positive or negative influences on children
. I agree that students should learn arts at the school,
since Remove the comma
apply
art
provides diverse opportunities to young students.
On the one hand, there are several grounds to support for
the view that why students should study Change preposition
apply
mandantory
Correct your spelling
mandatory
art
courses. To begin
with, children
lack to express their emotions such
as anger or sadness. In general, art
is one of the effecitve
methods to show people's feelings. Correct your spelling
effective
For example
, children
who feel
difficult to tell Verb problem
find it
own
feelings to their families or teachers can express their bad emotions by drawing and painting, and these activities can help them to develop the way Correct pronoun usage
their own
that
Change preposition
to
handling
their mental breakdown situations.
Wrong verb form
handle
Moreover
, compulsory art
class
can lead to finding Fix the agreement mistake
classes
children
's talents. In other words
, the school is the facility where can
find Correct pronoun usage
one can
ealry
talents or interests. Correct your spelling
early
This
educantion
can be Correct your spelling
education
Correct article usage
an opportunities
opportunities
for little Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
genius
to find their abilities. In the same vein, studying for Correct your spelling
geniuses
art
materials can bring extra lessens through drawing, painting, and sculpting such
as a sense of colour collecting or artistic
. Replace the word
art
Additionally
, art
courses can make feel
Correct pronoun usage
them feel
refresh
and Wrong verb form
refreshed
relive
their academic stresses for the youth. Correct your spelling
relieve
For example
, in art
, there is no fixed answer that student
should correct, they can show whatever they feel, or Fix the agreement mistake
students
they
want to express, Correct pronoun usage
apply
it
lead to freedom Correct pronoun usage
which
to
Change preposition
for
children
. Therefore
, mandantory
Correct your spelling
mandatory
art
education might bring effective advantures
Correct your spelling
advantages
for
Change preposition
to
the
young people.
In conclusion, it is not a clear-cut issue as there are pros and cons for both Correct article usage
apply
perpectives
. Despite there are several risks of forcing Correct your spelling
perspectives
art
education for
Change preposition
on
children
, I am of the opinion that art
class
give a variety of Fix the agreement mistake
classes
approachs
and opportunities to Correct your spelling
approaches
children
. Hence
, compulsory art
class
might be a good choice for Fix the agreement mistake
classes
student
for a Fix the agreement mistake
students
long-period
.Correct your spelling
long period
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task achievement
To enhance task achievement, provide more specific and varied examples. For instance, include more real-life instances or studies that support the benefits of mandatory art education.
task achievement
Work on refining the clarity of your ideas. Make sure that each point is clearly presented and elaborated upon. There were moments where the arguments could have been more fully developed.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. Each paragraph should naturally flow into the next.
coherence cohesion
There are minor grammatical issues and typos (e.g., 'mandantory' should be 'mandatory', 'effecitve' should be 'effective'). These should be fixed to improve readability and coherence.
task achievement
The introduction effectively sets up the topic and presents a clear stance, which is crucial for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This contributes to good coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The idea of art helping children express emotions and discover talents is supported with relevant points. This enhances the arguments presented.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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