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Art and music classes should not be mandatory at school. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#art #music #classes #school
It is a common belief that
art
 and
music
 courses should not be compulsory at a school.
However
, I disagree with the idea for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
several reasons because I think
art
 and
music
 can foster children’s
creativity
 and teach
the
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 skills how to collaborate with their classmates.
To begin
 with, it is well known that many extracurricular activities
such
 as drawing and playing an instrument help develop one's
creativity
.
Art
 and
music
 can stimulate many different parts of the brain and let the pupils express their feelings in their own ways. Learning how to colour flowers with several different colouring tools,
for instance
, can teach them how to illustrate different textures and let them utilize the skills when they're working as a designer in the future job.
This
 can be
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 example of
creativity
 which can apply to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real life.
Also
,
art
 and
music
 can teach the students how to collaborate with their classmates. Sharing their experiences of the same work will
also
 help them understand each other more thoroughly.
For example
, when students take part
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 an orchestra as a player, they have to practice together for an upcoming concert. By practising together and sharing notes, they can learn how to accommodate
while
 they are learning not only focusing on their own but
also
 compromising with other instruments as well. In conclusion,
art
 and
music
 courses in the school are expected to have positive impacts on pupils since
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can raise their
creativity
 and teach them to be more cooperative. For those reasons, I insist we should keep
art
 and
music
 classes mandatory.
Submitted by JE on

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coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion, you might consider using more clearly defined paragraphs and topic sentences. This will help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay meets the task requirements well and covers both aspects: creativity and collaboration. However, including more specific examples or evidence could strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, providing a good summary of your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively, discussing the benefits of art and music education in schools.
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