In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?
Nowadays a lot of countries facing with decrease in wildlife and green.
This
essay will explain the main reason for this
alarming phenomenon and the actions that can be taken in this
path to save our planet.
The main reason for the ongoing thread is to related global climate changes made by the poisonous gases that thrown
away into the atmosphere without being processed. Because of that, many landscapes are changing drastically. Add a missing verb
are thrown
Hence
, these movements can damage many lives of animal breeds and greenery. For instance
, reconstructional actions made in the Chinese province, Tiannan destroyed thousands of bamboo trees in order to build manufactures in the area. As a result
, the government
cut all bamboo trees in forests and did the major replacement of pandas while
taking them from their home. These relocations put animals in trouble of decrease immediately.
In order to solve this
issue, the government
have to take responsibility for industrial activities and should regulate possible damages made in the process of local reconstruction. Furthermore
, the leading organization
have to focus Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
its
attention directly on the use of natural resources. Which basically aims to stop any kind of misuse by law and enforcement. The greatest example of the topic raised in recent European elections. The new Correct pronoun usage
their
government
promises to prioritize changing climate and create responsible societies while
building energy-safe resources. The government
aims to invest in companies that will conduct research on how to keep animals safe in this
process too.
In conclusion, current challenges in nature and the downfall of habitats are reflected by constant changes.This
can cause millions of species to disappear. However
, most countries should be responsible with their ambitious planning to prevent any possible structural differences in existence.Submitted by musayevjahangir on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both parts of the prompt: why the decline in wildlife and plant life is happening and how it can be solved. This demonstrates a clear understanding of the task.
task achievement
Try to articulate your ideas more comprehensively and explore them in greater depth to make your arguments more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay's structure is logical with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the ideas within the paragraphs could be more clearly connected to improve overall cohesion.
coherence cohesion
It's useful to include linking phrases and words to ensure a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs for better reader understanding.
task achievement
Provide more detailed examples or evidence to support your main points, which can help in making your argument stronger and more credible.
grammar
Review and correct grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and article usage, for better clarity and readability. For example, 'reconstructional actions' could be revised to 'reconstruction actions'.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points discussed in the essay, providing a clear and concise ending.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant examples, such as the occurrence in the Chinese province, which illustrates the impact of industrialization on wildlife.
task achievement
Your attempt to discuss solutions shows a commitment to addressing the prompt's second part, which adds value to your response.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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