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Band 3.5

Poor infrastructure hinders under-developed countries from progressing and modernising. Some people think that this should be the first problem tackled by foreign aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#infrastructure #countries #people #first #aid
In under-developed countries, inadequate
infrastructure
 serves as a significant obstacle to progress and modernization. Some people think that
this
 should be the first problem tackled by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign aid. I disagree with
this
 statement and would like to
further
 delve into
this
 statement. One reason why solely focusing on improving
infrastructure
 with foreign aid may not be the most effective approach is because
under-developed
Correct your spelling
underdeveloped
show examples
 countries often face
with
Change preposition
apply
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other challenges which are more crucial and priority is needed to tackle these. Pressing issues
such
 as healthcare, education and socio-economic disparities
also
 impede progress.
For example
, lack of access to quality healthcare and education can be damaging, ultimately hampering the workforce needed to contribute to
infrastructure
 projects.
Furthermore
, simply
priotizing
Correct your spelling
prioritising
infrastructure
 development without addressing underlying pressing issues can result in unsustainable outcomes. Countries may find themselves with debt from large-scale
infrastructure
 projects that
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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may not benefit immediately.
For example
,
construction
Correct article usage
the construction
show examples
 of a highway or a building may not be beneficial if the majority cannot
accesss
Correct your spelling
access
due
Correct pronoun usage
it due
show examples
 to
affordibility
Correct your spelling
affordability
. In conclusion,
while
infrastructure
 development is vital, it should not be the sole focal point of foreign aid efforts. Addressing and prioritising critical aspects
such
 as healthcare, education and socio-economic disparities, the country can create a more comprehensive foundation for
sustainable
Correct article usage
a sustainable
show examples
 future.
Submitted by sejal.h on

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supported main points
Ensure that all arguments are supported by specific and relevant examples. For instance, provide real-world examples of countries where infrastructure investments have failed due to lack of simultaneous investments in healthcare or education.
clear comprehensive ideas
Provide a more balanced discussion by acknowledging some benefits of focusing on infrastructure development as well. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, making it easy to follow the argument.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay allows for a clear flow of ideas, making it relatively easy to follow and understand.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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