IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks and sports facilities rather than shopping centres for people to spend their time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#towns #parks #sports #facilities #centres #people #time
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The planning of new towns is important which sets the foundation for a community's development and the quality of life it offers to its
residents
Use synonyms
. I agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement and believe that more emphasis should be placed
upon
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on
show examples
 constructing
pulic
Correct your spelling
public
parks
Use synonyms
 and
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
Use synonyms
 rather than shopping centres.
This
Linking Words
 essay will expound on the reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 perspective. The provision of public
parks
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 and
sports
Use synonyms
facilities
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 contributes significantly to the
phycial
Correct your spelling
physical
 and mental
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
 of the
residents
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. These spaces serve as venues for exercise, recreation, and social interaction.
For example
Linking Words
, a
well maintained
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well-maintained
show examples
 park provides
and
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 environment for people of all ages to
engate
Correct your spelling
engage
 in various
phycial
Correct your spelling
physical
 activities, from jogging and yoga to team
sports
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.
Such
Linking Words
 activities not only promise a healthier lifestyle but
also
Linking Words
fosters
Correct subject-verb agreement
foster
show examples
 a sense of community and belonging among the
residents
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. The public
parks
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 and
sports
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facilities
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 play a pivotal role in enhancing
Linking Words
overall
Correct article usage
the overall
show examples
 aesthetics and
ambiance
Change the spelling
ambience
show examples
 of a town. Lush green spaces,
well designed
Add a hyphen
well-designed
show examples
 playgrounds, and
sports
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 fields create an inviting and pleasant environment for
residents
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 to enjoy
whereas
Linking Words
 shopping centres may lead to congestion, increased traffic, and a more commercialised
athmosphere
Correct your spelling
atmosphere
, which could detract from the town's
overall
Linking Words
 livability. In conclusion, prioritisation of public
parks
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 and
sports
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facilities
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 planning for new towns is paramount for fostering a healthier, more vibrant, and cohesive community.
Submitted by sejal.h on

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task achievement
Check for spelling errors (e.g., 'phycial' should be 'physical', 'engate' should be 'engage', 'athmosphere' should be 'atmosphere').
task achievement
Ensure subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'parks provides' to 'parks provide').
coherence cohesion
Enhance the use of linking words and phrases to improve flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
The main points are generally well-supported and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
The essay covers all parts of the question and provides a complete response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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