IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think that the best wat to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative wats or reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #wat #crime #prison #sentences #alternative #wats
The given bar chart illustrates how much
coffee
 and
tea
 was imported by 4 particular nations.
Overall
, it can be seen that every country witnessed more
coffee
 being imported than
tea
, except for the UK where the reversed trend was seen.
Additionally
, the UK's
tea
 import was by far the greatest among these 4 countries,
whereas
 the imported amount of
coffee
 was the least in the same nation. Regarding the 3 nations where the
coffee
 was imported more, both the US and Canada had nearly identical figures of about 20000
tons
 and double that amount of
tea
 and
coffee
, respectively. Meanwhile, the Germans saw a less substantial gap between the two the drinks of roughly 40000
tons
 of
tea
 were imported, which was 10000
tons
 less than
coffee
. Looking at the remaining nation with the most
tea
 imported around 80.000
tons
,
while
 the imported
coffee
 accounted for only 30.000
tons
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Provide a clearer introductory statement. Your current introduction can be expanded with a brief overview of the data presented.
logical structure
Use more linking words to make your essay flow better. Words like 'additionally,' 'moreover,' and 'however' can greatly improve coherence.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea. This helps in maintaining clarity and cohesion.
complete response
Try to be more precise with your numerical figures throughout the text to avoid ambiguity.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on grammar and spelling: 'the reversed trend' should be 'the reverse trend,' and 'imported amount' can be better phrased as 'amount of imported.'
supported main points
Good effort to cover all countries mentioned.
supported main points
Appropriately used comparative language to highlight differences between countries' imports.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: