IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in toady's society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view.

#methods #toady #society
Several techniques applied in advertising are against the ethical code and inadmissible for the current social community.
This
 essay will attempt to shed light on both the merits and demerits of the methods used in advertising before concluding that it is unacceptable to advertise the
products
 in an unethical way.
Although
 it is common for businesses to use a variety of methods to publish their
products
 so that the general public can see them, occasionally these methods go beyond what is morally acceptable. First and foremost, it could cause uncomfortable feelings for the viewer.
For example
, the internet user who only wants to browse the news could experience the pop-up unwanted advertisement that will cover the main page.
Furthermore
, the content might be going to the wrong target, which makes it unsafe for children.
For instance
, the advertisement content for adults might come up on social media at random times.
On the other hand
,
this
 kind of advertisement is very compelling for business.
First,
it would lead to a higher rate of viewers. Since the publicity system has no filter, the advertising can reach many platforms from different websites.
Moreover
,
this
 might increase brand awareness of the
products
. To be more specific, people will see the
products
 more often, which leads to brand recognition and will be top of mind when the customer wants to buy similar
products
. In conclusion, even though
this
 way might increase the company's profitability, it comes with the drawback of decreasing the viewer's convenience and higher the risk of unwanted viewers. I would be content with the disagreement about using the wrong method in advertising.
Submitted by gestienanovitasari on

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task achievement
Make sure to directly answer the question in the introduction and conclusion to ensure a complete response to the task.
task achievement
Develop main points with specific and relevant examples to strengthen arguments and task response.
coherence and cohesion
Work on creating more cohesion by linking ideas more clearly with a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid grammatical errors, such as 'toady's society' instead of 'today's society', to enhance clarity and coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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