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Band 6.5

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss the both these attitudes and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #places #visit #food #attitudes #answers
Nowadays,
people
 have many choices to spend their time.
While
 some
people
 like to keep doing
things
 they are used to, I side with those who love to try new experiences. On the one hand, it could be argued that
people
 who prefer to spend their time doing
things
 they usually do can pose some drawbacks.
Firstly
, they faced less chance to expand their network. Since they are not out of their comfort zone,
people
 might not be able to meet new
people
 and build
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
.
Secondly
,
although
 it is good for them to deepen their skills in a field they are familiar with,
people
 will lose a chance to grow new skills by doing something new.
On the other hand
, I believe in those who like to try new
things
 for two main reasons.
Firstly
, by doing new
things
,
people
 experience a high level of adrenaline as they push their own limits. As they are brave enough to out of their comfort,
people
 learn many
things
 which
thus
 will improve their capability and skill.
For instance
, those who have ever been assigned as a new master of ceremony for an event can learn about public speaking which can lead them to many opportunities beyond.
Furthermore
,
people
 who like to try new experiences can adapt easily to new environments
due to
 they are used to meeting new
people
 and strange places. In conclusion,
while
 doing
things
people
 are familiar with might deepen their skill in one field, those who like to try new
things
 can learn many new skills and improve their adaptation capability.
Therefore
, I remain firmly convinced that being willing to try new
things
 is a better attitude.
Submitted by mmmuuu on

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task achievement
To further improve your task achievement, try to provide more specific examples from your personal experience or widely known facts to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing and engaging.
coherence cohesion
For a better coherence and cohesion score, aim to create smoother transitions between paragraphs. You can achieve this by using a wider range of linking phrases and ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally into the next.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence, consider developing each main point more fully by exploring the consequences or implications in more depth. This can add to the logical structure and argumentative strength of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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