IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss the both these attitudes and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#people #places #visit #food #attitudes #answers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 have many choices to spend their time.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 like to keep doing
things
Use synonyms
 they are used to, I side with those who love to try new experiences. On the one hand, it could be argued that
people
Use synonyms
 who prefer to spend their time doing
things
Use synonyms
 they usually do can pose some drawbacks.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they faced less chance to expand their network. Since they are not out of their comfort zone,
people
Use synonyms
 might not be able to meet new
people
Use synonyms
 and build
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 it is good for them to deepen their skills in a field they are familiar with,
people
Use synonyms
 will lose a chance to grow new skills by doing something new.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe in those who like to try new
things
Use synonyms
 for two main reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, by doing new
things
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 experience a high level of adrenaline as they push their own limits. As they are brave enough to out of their comfort,
people
Use synonyms
 learn many
things
Use synonyms
 which
thus
Linking Words
 will improve their capability and skill.
For instance
Linking Words
, those who have ever been assigned as a new master of ceremony for an event can learn about public speaking which can lead them to many opportunities beyond.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who like to try new experiences can adapt easily to new environments
due to
Linking Words
 they are used to meeting new
people
Use synonyms
 and strange places. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 doing
things
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 are familiar with might deepen their skill in one field, those who like to try new
things
Use synonyms
 can learn many new skills and improve their adaptation capability.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I remain firmly convinced that being willing to try new
things
Use synonyms
 is a better attitude.
Submitted by mmmuuu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To further improve your task achievement, try to provide more specific examples from your personal experience or widely known facts to support your points. This will make your essay more convincing and engaging.
coherence cohesion
For a better coherence and cohesion score, aim to create smoother transitions between paragraphs. You can achieve this by using a wider range of linking phrases and ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally into the next.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence, consider developing each main point more fully by exploring the consequences or implications in more depth. This can add to the logical structure and argumentative strength of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: