IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Should students start and finish school one hour later?

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Last
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 week, there
has been
Wrong verb form
was
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 an ongoing debate on
weather
Correct your spelling
whether
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 the times of the schools should be changed to start and finish one hour later. I believe the
time
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 of the
school
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 should not be changed.
Firstly
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,
students
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 will be healthier. If
students
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 sleep early and wake up early
then
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 they will get an energy boost.
This
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 will make them stay active for the whole day.
Students
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 will
also
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 be less lazy. So, the
time
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 of the
school
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 should not be changed.
Secondly
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,
students
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 will learn how to become an adult. Adults have a lot of responsibilities like going to jobs and taking care of their family. Most adults will go to their jobs early in the morning. So if
students
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 wake up early and go to
school
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, it will feel like attending a job.
Therefore
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, the
time
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 of the
school
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 should remain intact.
Moreover
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,
students
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 won't have
time
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 for extra activities. If they go and finish
school
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 late
then
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 they won't have any free
time
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. Some
students
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 will go to football practice in the evening but if
school
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 finishes late
then
Linking Words
 they might be tired or might have a lot of homework to do. So,
students
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 should go to
school
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 early in the morning. In conclusion, some
students
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 say it's better to go to
school
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 late. But, if
students
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 wake up early they will have more energy,
students
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 will learn how to become responsible adults, and
students
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 won't have any
time
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 for center activities. I vehemently believe that
students
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 should go to
school
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 early and finish early.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use more varied connectors and linking phrases to enhance the flow between ideas.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your main points, which will strengthen your argument.
General
Revise the essay for minor punctuation and spelling errors such as 'weather' instead of 'whether' and 'center' instead of 'extra.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for each main idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively outline the main argument.
Task Achievement
You present clear and comprehensive ideas, staying focused on the topic throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Circadian rhythms
  • Sleep deprivation
  • Academic performance
  • Cognitive function
  • Adolescent sleep patterns
  • Tardiness
  • Absenteeism
  • Behavioral issues
  • Logistical challenges
  • Extracurricular activities
  • Family dynamics
  • Routines
What to do next:
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